Tulips and Pepsi
by Shiranai-Kyuri
Summary: Poor KenKen's desperately in love with Aya... What's he going to do about it? Aya/Ken
1. Tulips and Pepsi

A/N – My first Weiss fanfiction. ^^  Anyways, I'm planning this to be a three part series.  The first will be a kinda silly, humorous type of Aya/Ken.  The second will be a depressing, angsty one.  And the third… well, that will depend on how the second one ends. ^^

The first little bit will be in third person's POV.  The rest of the chapter, and most likely the rest of the fanfiction, will be in Ken's POV.  It's so fun to write in KenKen's POV!

Oh… and sorry if the characters are kinda OOC.

~*~

With a start, Fujimiya Aya woke. 

He stared up at the ceiling, his breath coming in short gasps.

Those dreams…  They were coming back.  

Why?!

Angrily, he hit the mattress in frustration.  They had plagued him right after the… accident… but they had been receding ever since he joined Weiss.

Until now.

It seemed they had been returning full force.

He groaned, burying his face in his hands.  Desperately, he tried to force the images of the flames burning around his house, his sister's stunned face, and then finally her limp body flying through the air.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he looked over at the digital alarm clock on the bedside table.  Two in the morning.

He stood, stretching his arms over his head.  Rubbing the fuzz away from his eyes, he pushed open the door and walked down the hallway, intent on getting a drink from the kitchen.

Grabbing a mug from the cupboard, he opened the fridge, and took out a carton of orange juice.  Dumping its contents into the mug, he tossed the empty carton into the trash can.  

He took a seat at the kitchen table, setting the mug down and resting his head in his arms.  

Nights were always the worse.  It was when those terrible memories plagued him once again when there were no distracting factors involved.

Damn…  Now he was getting a headache too.

~*~

I blearily looked at the bedside alarm clock.  Damn… it was early.  I sat up, giving a long, exaggerated stretch.  

What to do…?  Try to go back to sleep counting soccer balls… or leave the comfort of my bed.

I blinked, hearing footsteps going past the door in the hallway.  Who would be up at this hour?!  Besides myself of course…

What if it was a burglar?!  Or a stalker?!  Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh~~!!!  Have to call the police!

I froze. 

What the hell was I doing?!  I was a trained assassin!  I could take any burglar any day!

As soon as I woke up…

Five minutes later, I was (somewhat) awake and padding down the hallway.  Whoever the intruder was is going to die for making me get out of bed.

Walking through the doorway, I stopped, blinking.

Oh, it was Aya.

Ok, discard that killing the intruder thing.  Let me give you some advice…  Never even attempt to attack temperamental red-heads.  It's really not healthy for you.

So, here I was in the kitchen, all gung-ho for killing who the hell got out of bed.  And I find Aya.  Our fearless all-powerful leader.  Who currently looked like shit.

So I, like any sane person (who did not have a death wish… with the exception of those crazy fangirls… never know what they're thinking), I would leave Aya alone to do his brooding.  

But no.  Let it never be said that I was crazy.  I just happen to not be able to walk away from someone who was obviously not feeling very well.

Especially not Aya.

"Hey, Aya."  I stride over to him, sticking a casual smile on my face.  I peer down at him.  Can't see his face though… he's hiding it.

"Go away, Hidaka."

Wow.  He must be really out of it.  Three words is row!  I believe that's a new record!

So all in all, I was worried.

"What's wrong?"  I wince.  Okay, that sounded horribly sentimental.  Ah, I predict Aya will either grunt, 'hn', or completely ignore me.

I was wrong.  Here's the Fujimiya death-glare-of-doom.

Crap… That guy is scary.

"C'mon, tell me what's wrong!  Hey, you can't keep all your troubles inside; it's not good for you, you know?  I mean, you know that old expression thing 'bout a soda bottle that can only take so much pressure?  Well, you're just like that.  I mean, you know that whole thing with Aya-chan and stuff…  You know, you're gonna snap some day, and no offense, but I really don't want to clean a whole pile of Aya up off the floor if you know what I mean."  So I was ranting.  That's what I do when I get nervous.

'Course, being me I know just the worst thing say at the right time.

Aya growled.  He honest to goodness growled.

Let's just say I was in a lot of deep shit right now.

"Ah… I'll just go away quietly."  I backed away nervously.  Nope, I'm no scared of Aya.  Of course not.  Nope, not at all.

Alright, I was having the shit scared out of me.

I leave.

I let out a huge breath.  My nerves were rattled.  Talking to walking (and… sometimes… talking) icicle can do that to you.

I collapse on my bed.  Ever try to start a conversation with Aya?  It's an adventure.  Whoever's able to get more than ten words out of him (that's not about the mission of course) will get a hundred bucks from me.  I'm serious.

But I quickly sobered up. 

Something was seriously bugging Aya.  How did I know?  Well, as I mentioned before, he said three words in a row.  Three!  To me!  The world is ending.  

I mean, hey, I heard him say more words than that… but never to me.  Hell, outside of a mission, I don't think he even knows I exist.

Nope, I'm not bitter.  Not at all.

I'm not fooling anyone, am I?

I admit it, I like Aya.  I _really_ like Aya.

Don't go lecturing on me about not falling in love with ice princes… who have the ability to slice you into nice, itty-bitty little pieces with a pointy metal katana.

In other words, I'm an idiot.

I guess I'm getting off subject, aren't I?  So Aya was really down.  Why?  I have no clue.  No one ever knows what he's thinking.

Aya has got to be the most secretive person in the world.  We were his teammates, and anything we know about him we either found out by accident or someone else told us.

We didn't even know about Aya-chan until that whole incident with Takatori.  His real name's a total mystery to us all.

You know how much it hurts when the person you love most in the world doesn't trust you enough to even tell you his real name?  

I guess it's partially my fault too.  I mean, hey, the guy didn't ask me to fall in love with him.  It just… happened.  Don't ask me why, 'cause I sure as hell don't know.

Sure, Aya's hot and all (just look at the guy!  Crimson hair, pale skin, you get my point, right?), but he does seem to lack in social skills.  Not that I really blame him though, with his sister in a coma and all.  But still…  We're Weiss, his teammates, as in trust-each-other-with-your-life teammates.

And he won't even tell us his damn name.

You know what else really hurts?  I think those girls in the flower shop get more attention from Aya than I do.  Why?  Let's do a simple word count here.  _If you're not buying anything, get out.  Seven words.  How many words did Aya speak to me today?  Three._

Sure, he might hate them, but did you ever fall in love so badly that you would rather the person hate you than not acknowledge your existence at all?

That's me, Ken the idiot.

Okay, back to the Aya-brooding subject.  

What the hell could be bothering him so badly that he'll get out of bed – at two in the morning?!  I myself, from personal experience, happen to know that the bed is one of the best places to brood.

So it must've been a nightmare then.

In case you don't get my logic here, beds=sleeping=nightmares.  And if I know the type to have bad nightmares, it would be Aya.  

So Aya was having nightmares.  Well, that's to be expected.  All of us here at Weiss have our share of nightmares.

But Omi, Youji, and I have learned to just deal with them.  Most of the time, they're flashbacks to the most terrible parts of our past.  We've learned to let go… because we know what happened to us in the past, and no matter how much we may want it to change, it can't.  Besides, it made us the people we are now, and I guess that if all those events didn't happen, we wouldn't have met each other.

But Aya can't let go.

That became clear to me with the Takatori incident.  Each day… he must be hurting more and more.

Do you know how much I want to be the one to make all that go away?  It hurts me to see him hurting so much.

But I can't, can I?

Step One in Plan Stop-Aya-from-brooding – Get him to actually notice me.

~*~

I yawned.  I glanced over the clock.  Six in the morning.  Well, it was a lot better than two in the morning.  

I would prefer to sleep until noon, but the schedule demanded I work the morning shift.  With Aya.

Oh yes, he was going to be mad at me.

I grabbed an old soccer jersey and some athletic shorts.  Changing into them, I pushed open the door, walked out into the hallway, and then down the stairs.

Let me tell you, I am not in a good mood in the mornings.  Especially when I have rabid fangirls hanging onto me.

I took the apron off the hook, and slipped it on, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes.  You know, out of the four of us, Aya's the only one who can think properly in the morning (well, Youji can too… when there are pretty girls around… but that's a completely different story).  

And there he is, setting up the roses.  Did I mention the roses are the exact shade as his hair?

By the way, he doesn't even acknowledge the fact that I have walked into the room.  

"'Morning, Aya," I say casually.  It's a routine thing; don't expect a reply.

And I expected pretty well.

I walk over to the tulips, bending over a particularly sorry looking one.  Crap, I think that's the one I spilled Pepsi on.

Well, interesting fact of the day.  Tulips do not like Pepsi.

Aya's gonna kill me.  I swear, he's almost as zealous about the flowers as he is about a mission.  Keyword: almost.  

I poke at it.  Doesn't look too good.  Anyone here a tulip doctor?

"Baka."  Aya reaches from behind me, picking the tulip up.

I blush.  Aya's arm brushed my arm.  Oh Kami, I can die happy.

And then he just walks away to but it in what I have dubbed to be the Flower Happy House/flowers-which-don't-stand-a-chance.

Okay, tulips really don't like Pepsi.

But forgive me for the idiotic smile on my face during the death of such a beautiful plant.  Aya touched me.  He actually touched me.  And he said one word to me (he was calling me an idiot, but hey, beggars can't be choosers).  One, before even noon.  I'm doing good today!

Hopefully, he even forgot about my idiotic motor-mouth the night before.

Grabbing a pair of shears, I set to work on clipping the dead leaves off of the other tulips.  Gotta make 'em look pretty.  

You know it takes a ridiculously long time to clip off all the leaves with a pair of scissors.  I tried using my bugnuks once.  Needless to say, Aya was not pleased.  Come to think of it, he said four words to me then.  They were something like "What-the-fuck" and then "Shi-nee" and then he went after me with his katana.

Hey, I got attention!  I was in major pain after, but it was attention nonetheless.

Oops, lost track of time here.  Time for the shop to open.

Oh no… Here they come…  The rabid fangirls!  Run for the hills!

"Oh, Ken-kun!"

"Aya-kun!"

"Aishiteru!"

Not to mention random glomps/leeching.  

These creatures known as fangirls are among the most non-understood creatures on the planet.  Why?  Scientists can't seem to figure out why they don't go running when Aya gives them his death-glare-of-doom.  

They seem to think it's sexy.

I have nothing against admitting that he does look pretty damn hot with that glare, but they really don't know what it can convey.  Like a slow, painful death by katana.

"Ken-kun!"  A wide-eyed highschool girl latched onto my arm.  "Will you go out on a date with me?  There's a really great restaurant downtown."

"Uh..."  Oh Kami, sure, they had screamed it out to us, but none of them have actually personally asked us out.  And they may be irritating and all, but… they mean well, I guess.  I _really_ don't want to go out on a date with her, but I really can't be mean and just say no, right?

Shit, these girls are almost as scary as Aya.  Almost.

"No!  Ken-kun will go out with me!"

"No, me!"

"Ken-kun's mine!"

"Mine!"

"Get away from him!"

"Ken-kun!"

I'm scared.  I'm really, really scared.  

"If you're not going to buy anything, GET OUT!"

My savoir!  I feel like glomping Aya-sama right now.

I turn around.  Eep…  Oh, that's one evil deathglare.

I slowly turn back around.

They're gone.  They're actually gone.

Newsbreak!  Rabid fangirls have gained the slightest inkling of intelligence!

I must resist the urge to dance.  And sing.  And yell.

You get the picture.

Oh yes, must thank our all-powerful leader.  I turn, a huge grin on my face.  "Thanks… A… ya…"

He's gone.

Maybe it's better that way.  If he had stayed, that would be completely OOC, and I would've seriously started to doubt his sanity.

But it would feel good to for him to no ignore me for once.

~*~

I am determined to get Aya to loosen up.  Why?  Just look at the guy.  It's like he has stick up his ass all the time.  Jeez… There has got to be a limit to how much a human can be like a machine.

I guess Aya just defies everything.

Anyways, I think getting him to loosen up will have some benefits to both him and me.  KenKen's finally thinking for once!  I mean, just think of it this way – If Aya loosens up, not only will he be a much happier person, but the chances that he might actually acknowledge my presence for once will greatly increase.

Smart, huh?

Okay, so maybe not that logical.

But hey, it just might be crazy enough to work.

Though, alas, how to put my plan into action?  After all, it'll be next to impossible to Aya a.k.a. Mr. I'm-colder-than-a-camel-in-Antarctica to say anything that doesn't relate to missions or flowers (uh… is it just me or does that sound a bit weird?) let alone get him to do anything recreational.

C'mon, think Hidaka.

Aha!  What better way than to attract the ice prince to something than to say it was a mission (*sigh*  Now if only I was a mission)?

I smirk evilly.  Oh yes, I am a genius.  

And since I'm alone in the room, my ever-so-smart brain determines that it really wouldn't be too much to laugh maniacally.

And of course a certain someone decides to enter right then.

I get whacked on the head.  Hard.

And also nearly faint from delight.

Aya whacked me on the head.  Aya.

Forgive me if I squeal like a girl right now.

"Ken-kun?" Omi poked his head into the room, confusedly looking down at me, who was lying on the ground with a growing lump on my head.  Did I mention the idiotically huge smile on my face?

"Hi, Omi, nice weather isn't it?" I say every-so-intelligently.

"Are you feeling alright?" Omi's trying to take my temperature now.

"Yup, of course.  Did you know pig cans fly?" I answer earnestly.

Now, why would Omi be back away like that?

"Ken-kun… did you hit your head on something?"

"Nani?  Oh, Aya hit me.  Yup, he did."

Omi sighed, a hand on his forehead.  "Ken-kun…"

I look innocently up at him.  "Oooohhhhh… Omi look at the pretty stars…"

"I'm… going to get Youji…" Omi quickly hightails out of the room.

Hm… Omi's acting really weird today.  Maybe Youji hit him on the head or something.

"So you think something's wrong with Ken, chibi?"  Ah, Youji.  Maybe he can stop Omi from acting so weird.  Wait… what does he mean by something being wrong with me?  I feel perfectly fine, thank you very much.

Omi walked into the room, followed by Youji.  "Youji-kun…  Ken-kun's acting… weird…"

Youji bent down a looked closely at him.  "Aha!  It's a matter of the heart!"  He turned to Omi.  "You say he was hit by Aya, eh?  As the resident master of love matters, I would diagnose that our little KenKen has fallen hard for our resident block of ice."

No duh, Youji.

Wait.

Shit.

He knows?!

~*~

A/N – What did you think?  Please R&R.


	2. A Glimpse in the Past

Sorry for the long wait! ^^;;  I had some… issues… to deal with.  Yeah.  Anyways, this chapters definitely more serious than the last one, although it is rather silly in some parts. ^^  It kinda sheds a bit more light on why Ken loves Aya.  I'm trying to write a humor fic that has a plot.  ^^

Oh yeah, I'm not sure if some of you understood what I meant by a three part series…  "Tulips and Pepsi" will be the first (humorous) part of the series, and will have approximately 10 chapters.  Its sequel (I haven't decided a title yet) will be posted as a different fanfic, and will be longer than "Tulips and Pepsi", I think.  And to give you a hint about it, it won't be nearly as silly as "Tulips and Pepsi".  The last fanfic in the series will probably be something like a one-shot epilogue.  Whether it'll be a happy or not will depend on me. ^^

Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, I recently changed my username.  Now it's Shiranai-Kyuri, which I believe means something like "Strange Cucumber". ^^  Yes, I know I'm weird.

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss.

~*~

I'm scared.  I am so damn scared.

Youji knows.

He knows that I like Aya.

That I like Aya.

Aya.

Shit.

Kill me, please.

I mean, I know there's all that junk about how you shouldn't keep secrets from your friends and all, and 'bout how they can help you through tough times, etc. etc.

But people, just think for a second.

This is Youji we're talking about.  He may be a nice guy and all with good intentions, but, well, I wouldn't exactly say 'tact' and 'secrecy' is in his vocabulary much (hey, the guy asks girls he barely knows out on dates).

Oh Kami, I can just picture this now…

_"Hey, Aya, guess what KenKen here has a huge crush on you.  Now, why don't you just kiss him and then--"_

*cough*  I think I'll stop right there.

"WHAT?!  KEN-kun likes AYA-kun?!"

Ah, Omi, so innocent.  Too bad you have people like Youji to corrupt such a sweet, pure mind.

Anyways, while Youji was explaining how he got to this shocking conclusion about yours truly, I was looking around to find a convenient suicide weapon.  Or murder weapon.

Curse whoever made me put my bugnuks away when working in the flower shop.

Oh wait, that was Aya.

Never mind then.

Ahem, so Omi then pries an unlucky mop out of my hand, giving me a sympathetic look.  "Ne, Ken-kun…"

"What do you think I am now, a freak?" I pout, glaring at both of them.

  
Omi blinks innocently.  "What?"

"Never mind," I sigh.  Omi's a great kid… just a bit too naïve at times.

"So, Kenken…" Youji has a distinctively evil look on his face.  Oh Kami…  At this point, I am praying to every god known to mankind.  "Judging from your reaction, I'm right, aren't I?"

No duh, baka.

"No," I answer nervously.  Unfortunately, I'm a crap liar, so that really doesn't get me anywhere.

"It's not good to lie," Youji answers gleefully.  "Don't you want to be a good boy for Aya?"

I scowl.

"Youji-kun, don't be mean," Omi says, frowning disapprovingly at the taller man.

"Sorry, Chibi."  Youji ruffles Omi's hair affectionately.

I decide that would be the moment to quietly sneak out.  Hey, I may be clumsy, but I'm not an assassin for nothing.  Don't you notice that I'm never clumsy during missions?  Well, this is just as important as a mission (at least, it is to me).

I make it out the door before they notice I'm gone.

"Ken-kun!"

"Oi, KEN!"

I gulp.

And run like hell.

~*~

For once, my clumsiness actually helped me.

Would you believe that the can of paint I happened to slip on happened to be open.  And you know how when you slip on something round, it typically flies into the opposite direction where you're running.  

I happened to be running forward.  Youji and Omi were right behind me.

I think you can figure out the rest.

By the way, you can note it was pink paint.  Sparkly pink paint.

I don't know what it was doing in the middle of the hallway and I'm pretty sure I don't even want to know, but I thank Kami it was there.

So here I am in the park, feeling like I had ran a marathon and dreading the possibility of returning home to one of two options.

1 – Youji will not tell Aya, but will continue to torture me with endless teasing, which will, with time, make our ever-so-observant leader take notice and then… well, let's say it probably won't be pleasant.

2 – Youji will tell Aya… and that probably won't be pleasant either.

So either way, I'm screwed.

"Ken-niichan!"

I look up from current brooding position to see Himiko (one of my soccer kids) run up to me.  I almost smile at the adorable image she made running with a lollipop in one hand and a teddy bear in the other.

"Ne, Ken-niichan…"  She looks up at me with huge inquisitive eyes.  "Are you sad?"

I blink, unsure how to answer.  First of all, it's not a good idea to lie… But it really isn't a good idea to let a little kid know you're feeling a bit… well, like shit.  Especially when said kid is known for having incredible empathy… and thus would end up feeling depressed if anyone in a certain vicinity gave the slightest hint of being depressed.

"I feel great," I answer, wincing mentally at the obvious sarcasm in my voice.

Thank Kami little kids have no idea what sarcasm is.

"Then why aren't you smiling?" 

"…"

Himiko's eyes narrow, as her lips twisted into a little pout.  "Tell me what's wrong!  See, Teddy-chan's really smart, and he can fix you!"

"Don't worry, Himiko-chan," I answer, forcing a carefree smile on my face, "I don't think I need fixing."

Well, maybe my brain needs fixing (for obvious reasons… Who in their right mind would fall in love with a person who would perfectly well at home in the Artic?)… but that's beside the point.

She stares up at me for a couple of seconds.  Then, as if satisfied, nodded.  "Okay, Ken-niichan."  

I sigh in relief.

Suddenly, Himiko screams.  An ear-splitting scream.

And naturally, I panic.  On reflex, I jump to my feet, and shove Himiko behind me as I turn to face whatever horror she saw.

And then I die.

Laughing.

"Ken-ni~~chan!" Himiko sobs, clutching her teddy to her chest and clinging tightly to the back of my shirt.  "Make them go away!  Onegai…  They're MONSTERS!"

Two **very** familiar "monsters" are stalking towards us, both looking decidedly murderous.  'Course, they would've looked murderous if not for the fact they were bright (and sparkly) pink with what appeared to be random… objects… growing out of them.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you half of the renowned assassin group Weiss.

"It's… alright… Hi… miko-chan…" I choke out between gasps.  "They're my friends."

"Ken-ku~~n," the shorter of the two says, his voice distinctly bordering on whining.

"You two scare small children," I inform them ever so helpfully.

"In the words of our all-powerful leader – Shinee," the taller (and much more sparklier) of two deadpans.

"They're scary," Himiko whimpers.

I kneel down to Himiko's level and put my hands on her shoulders to calm her down.  "Don't worry, Himiko-chan, your brave 'niichan will protect you.  Now, your 'kaasan's right over there.  Go run over to her, okay, while I distract the big, scary monsters.  Don't worry, they're not too bright, so they won't notice you."

I hear two indignant (for no better way of phrasing it) squawks from behind me.

As Himiko scampers away, I turn back to face my fate.

And promptly lose whatever shred of composure I had.

"Shut up, Ken," Youji snaps, a scowl on his nicely pink face.

"Why would I—"

At that point, Omi cheerfully overturns the paint remaining in the paint bucket over my head.

Just great.

~*~

Omi, Youji, and I trudge into the Koneko stripped of dignity, and praying that a certain redheaded assassin wasn't home.

Too bad fate has a distinctly twisted sense of humor.

Aya, looking at hot as ever, was sitting behind the counter going through the finances.  He looks up as the door opens.

He pauses in the middle of a calculation, an eyebrow beginning to twitch.  

My **extremely** kind friends push me to the front.

"Hi," I say, being my usual eloquent self.

"Explain," he answers flatly.

I begin to laugh nervously.  "Well, you see, I was running away from Omi and Youji 'cause… um, the reason's not important… And then there was this paint can in the middle of the floor, and I kinda… tripped… on it.  Then, as you can see, it sorta splashed all over Omi and Youji.  After that, I was innocently sitting in the park talking with one of my soccer kids… and they came and scared her away!  It was pretty damn funny though.  Anyways, they weren't really happy with me (as you can see)… and made me have an encounter with the paint bucket too."

"You're babbling, Ken," Youji points out.

I pointedly ignored him.

Nervously, the three of us look at our leader, who was staring back at us as calmly as usual.  I'm really not sure if that's a good sign or a bad sign.

Turns out it was a bad sign, as the three of us ended up scrubbing the storeroom from floor to ceiling.  

"It's your fault, Ken," Youji snarled, scrubbing hard at a poor shelf.

I ignore him, mopping the floor with vigor.

"Well," Omi speaks up hesitantly, "I suppose it's all our faults.  I mean, if Youji-kun wasn't teasing Ken-kun, then I really don't think he would've run out the door like that.  I seriously don't think Ken-kun intended to splash the paint all over us… and perhaps I shouldn't have just dumped the paint all over him, despite how much he was teasing us.  But then again, all of this might not have happened if Ken-kun hadn't run out like that…"  He fixes huge blue eyes on us.  "So why don't we talk over what made Ken-kun upset in the first place and make sure nothing like this happens again?"

Youji and I blink.

And blink again.

Kid's too damn naïve and innocent for his own good.

For all his good intentions, Omi really doesn't know a thing about how problems like this can be solved.  Even if I do get Youji to keep his mouth shut about this, there's still the tiny problem of what the hell I'm supposed to with my little crush on Aya.

Omi glares at us (and unlike Aya, his glare is actually more cute than dangerous).  "You two will talk – and figure out what to do about Ken-kun's feelings for Aya."

What to do?  Well, absolutely nothing.  Any idiot can tell that's what we're supposed to do.  This is Aya we're talking about.  The chances of him feeling anything for me is just about the same as a snowball's in the Sahara Desert.  Why?  Well, you could start with the fact that we're both guys.  And then go on to the fact that he's a cold-hearted prick.

So a much more pleasant option for me would be to keep my (and Youji/Omi's) mouths shut and save me from further embarrassment and awkwardness.

"Youji, keep you mouth shut or I will personally weld it shut," I state flatly.  "And please do take it literally."

Youji gives me an affronted look.  "Why would you say that only to me and not Chibi?"

I give him a withering glance.  "Because Omi knows when to keep his mouth shut and you don't."

Omi steps in to intervene between a definitely brewing fight.  "I think all this is besides the point."  He looks at Youji.  "Youji-kun, Ken-kun does have a point.  I really don't think it would do any good to just point out Ken-kun's feelings to Aya-kun.  Aya-kun… isn't the most emotionally open person.  If we were to reveal Ken-kun's feelings, I don't think Aya-kun will react in a pleasant way, so it will only hurt Ken-kun.  Besides, most important is the fact that Ken-kun doesn't want you to tell, and since they're his feelings, it wouldn't do to go against his wishes."

I have the sudden urge to glomp Omi right then and there.

But then Omi turns to me.  I instinctively take a step back at the expression on his face, which was definitely bordering on evil.

"As for you, Ken-kun, how long have you liked Aya-kun?"

I blink, then pause in my task of stacking bags of soil back onto the sparkly clean shelves.  How long had I had my crush on Aya?  

Hm…

Well, I had certainly hated him at first.  Thought he was a cold bastard and all.

And it certainly hadn't been a sudden moment when I decided I had fallen in love with him.  It had been little things.

He never really did show any kindness to me.  I guess you may be wondering how I could've fallen in love with him when he never really acknowledges my existence huh?

Let's take a break from this conversation so I can explain things.

It had all started out as respect.  Aya's just a natural leader – doesn't talk much but commands attention when he does.  Our missions started to go smoother with him aboard.  It wasn't that he had great plans or anything… Omi was the strategist.  But, well, before he joined Weiss never had a leader.  Sure, Omi was great at planning and stuff, but he just didn't have it in him to command people around.  Youji was just too laid back – and it didn't help that he would only go on missions with women over twenty-one.  And I… I just couldn't make decisions for others; always afraid of leading people down the wrong path, I guess.

Aya was the pillar of Weiss.

None of us really knew him, or got along well with him either.  But he was a constant thing we could count on.  He would always go on missions (unlike a certain person *coughcough*Youji*coughcough*), and would carry them out without hesitancy or regret.

I don't know if I envy him or not.  To have the ability to take lives without a second thought…

Sorry, I'm getting off subject, aren't I?

So yeah, I started to really respect Aya.

Then the physical attraction came along.  

Just look at the guy – he is hot.  And I put the emphasis on hot.  C'mon, how many guys will you meet in a lifetime with that kind of looks.  

He's practically the epitome of cool and mysterious.

Forgive me if I take a moment now the drool.

*ahem*  So, anyways, when that stage came along, I had come to the conclusion that I was, to put it delicately, not straight.

And completely freaked out.

Hey, wouldn't you if you found out that you were suddenly gay and was attracted to the ice-cold leader of your assassin group?!

Um, yeah… So I was distracted from missions for awhile, and locked myself in my room quite a bit.

But I got over it.

I think the first time I realized it was love and not just attraction was during a mission.  It wasn't a particularly hard one… but things just unraveled from there…

_::Flashback::_

_Weiss was on a mission to stop a drug dealing company from distributing drugs to kids as disguised as a candy.  You would think the police would be able to do something about it, but turns out the company's legitimately established, and the candy does give fair warning – just tones it down at bit._

_The effects of the "candy" didn't really happen until weeks (maybe months) after it's first taken (and after the kid had dozens of doses… it's addicting),, so the police never had the time or the resources to trace it back to the company._

_But Persia and co. did._

_So they sent Weiss out to take care of the president of the company._

_Relatively easy, don't you think?_

_Well, we thought so._

_Turns out we were wrong._

_I sliced through a guard, scowling in frustration.  Damn… who would think a candy factory (even a technically illegal one) would have so many guards?_

_Aya, Youji, and I had been sent inside the factory.  Youji and I were to cover Aya, who had been given the job to do the actual assassination. Omi was waiting outside, monitoring the building through the computer system he had hacked into._

_Things seemed normal when we first went in._

_Sure, there were more guards than we anticipated, but that really didn't matter since they were badly trained.  The sheer numbers were frustrating though._

_"__Bombay__," I heard Youji call through the communicator, "How far are we from the target?"_

_Omi's answer was prompt.  "Approximately two levels above you."_

_Two levels?!  _

_There were four levels in the building.  We had been there for two hours and we had only made it past two floors?!  _

_I spotted the stairs across the room.  I sprinted, ducking wildly shot bullets.  I darted past a guard, and tossed another aside, courtesy of my bugnuks._

_Out of a corner of my eye, I kept an eye out for Aya and Youji._

_"Siberian, Balinese," Aya said through the communicator.  _

_I turned and spotted him close the stairs, obviously planning to go up them.  With silent assents, Youji and I quickly followed._

_We'll just skip the boring fight stuff, shall we, and skip to the important part._

_  
So we made it to the top floor.  None of us had gotten injured, though even Aya would admit he was the tiniest bit tired._

_Aya led, as usual, beginning to push open the door that Omi said led to the President's office.  It looked normal enough, with plain oak doors.  We had dispatched of the guards earlier._

_"Careful," we heard Omi say through the communicator, "I'm not picking up any signals from that room.  It was only through process of elimination that I was able to determine that was where the president was."_

_I glance around, and can't resist a slight smile at the huge plaque that says President.  "__Bombay__, I have just confirmed this is the location."_

_But my amusement ended right then._

_Just as Aya got the door open, we heard Omi yell through the communicator.  "Guys… wait… don't-"_

_He was abruptly cut off as an explosion rocked the building._

_Instinctively, I dropped to the ground, putting my arms above my head to guard it from the falling debris.  We were lucky.  If we had gotten any further into the room, the explosion might've killed us.  We were especially lucky that the whole building hadn't collapsed from the shock of the explosion._

_As the dust began to clear, I could see Youji's silhouette, bent over coughing from the dust.  Frantically, I searched for Aya, a knot beginning to form in my stomach when I couldn't see any sign of him._

_"Balinese," I choked out, the dust hindering my ability to speak.  "Do you see any sign of Abyssinian?"_

_I could make out Youji pausing, obviously looking around.  "No…"_

_Oh Kami…_

_I was feeling definitely sick now.  _

_Aya… He couldn't…  _

_I scanned the room, my dread growing at the piles of debris.  _

_No… He couldn't…_

_"Siberian…" Youji said, his voice eerily calm, "Abyssinian…"_

_"NO!"  I was on the verge of hysterics.  "Damnit, Youji, Aya's under all this stuff!  He has to be alive!  It's Aya… Aya wouldn't die.  No… he wouldn't…"_

_In my panicked state, I had forgotten to use our code names._

_"Calm down, Siberian," Youji said sharply.  "If you don't, we'll never get Abyssinian out."_

_I swear I was hyperventilating at this point.  Just the thought of Aya…  No, I would not think that way._

_"Damnit, Siberian!" Youji yelled, already beginning to dig in the rubble, "Are you just going to frickin' stand there?!"_

_Snapping out of my initial horror, I went to work desperately to free him.  Although I knew it would probably be fruitless…  Aya was in the lead, and had probably gotten the brunt of the explosion._

_"AYA!" I screamed, not caring if anyone heard and found our identities.  "Don't you dare die on us!"_

_"Shut up, Siberian," Youji snapped, "Do you want the whole damn world to hear us?"_

_"I don't fucking care!" I shot back._

_Aya…_

_No…_

_You can't…_

_If are…_

_I…_

_My eyes widen as I unearthed a hand.  _

_Covered in blood…_

_"YOUJI!" I yell.  Youji runs over, and helps me quickly remove the rest of the rubble off of Aya.  And taking one look at him, I felt sick to my stomach._

_"Ken…" Youji said, even he abandoning the use of our mission names._

_"Is he… Is he…" My voice felt caught in my throat._

_Youji knelt next to Aya, checking his pulse as I felt my heart beat rapidly increase even more.  "He's… He's… Ken, he's still alive!"_

_Oh, thank Kami._

_I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding._

_"Give me you shirt!" Youji commanded me, already having his shirt off and using it to apply pressure to Aya's wounds and attempt to stop the bleeding._

_Wordlessly, I tear it off and drop to my knees next to Aya too.  I press my shirt to a large gash in his chest._

_"Is he going to be okay?" I ask, my voice beginning to shake._

_Youji paused, scanning Aya's injuries.  "Yeah… I think so.  Don't worry Ken; Aya's far too stubborn to die."_

_I nearly collapse from relief._

_But at the same time, I felt a feeling of confusion emerging.  Why was I so worried?  I mean, Omi and Youji had been injured this badly before, and, sure, I had been worried as hell… but I hadn't freaked out like I did now._

_It was like a punch in the gut._

_I had fallen in love with Fujimiya Aya._

_::End Flashback::_

So yeah… That was how it happened.

"Ken-kun?"  Omi's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Oh… yeah…" I smile sheepishly at them.  "I liked him for a couple months."

Both of them gaped at me.

"You're an idiot," Youji finally stated flatly, "You know, if I liked someone, I would tell them the moment I found out."

I pout.  "But that's you.  The guy who has a new girl practically every week."  I sigh.  "Besides, this is **Aya I like."**

Omi and Youji simultaneously nod.  "Oh yes, that definitely changes things."

Well, duh.

"Okay, then, Ken-kun!" Omi says brightly.  "We'll help you out, ne Youji?"

Youji nods, a positively evil smile on his face.  "Don't worry, KenKen; leave everything to Chibi and I, expert matchmakers!"

Save me, please.

~*~

  
To be continued…

~*~

Don't forget to review!


	3. A Chase in the Dark

Yeah, I know it's been awhile. ^^;;  Sorry… this chapter is a bit shorter than the other two.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! ^^ 

**GoldenWings **– *sweatdrops*  Um…  For italics, I just italicize the text.  What file format are you saving in?  .doc files don't show italics (well, at least mine didn't), so I suggest saving in .html.  

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss.

~*~

I stand alone.

In the dark.

With Aya.

How did this come to be, you ask?  Well, it all started with a hair-brained scheme made up by Omi…

_::Flashback::_

_"Aya."_

_Our leader looked up at the sound of Youji's voice, an eyebrow raised in question.  Youji and Omi had entered the back room to discuss the "mission" they had been assigned._

_'Course, the mission hadn't been assigned by __Persia__ (instead it had been assigned by Omi), but Aya didn't have to know that._

_"We've been assigned a new mission," Youji continued, "Manx told us to inform you since someone had to watch the shop during our debriefing."_

_"You see…" Omi picked up after him, "A criminal organization has been corrupting the minds of innocent children at a nearby laser tag facility.  Weiss has been ordered to infiltrate the facility discreetly in order to prevent public knowledge of the facility's true intent.  To do this, we will have to go inside undercover as 'kids' checking out the new game.  The organization operates with having a member of their group 'play' in the game and pick out the more violent or bad-tempered tempered kids, which they will approach with a 'proposition'.  We will have to first find out who this 'mole' – or moles –  in the game is, and force them to reveal the location of the master-mind, before eliminating him."_

_And then he dropped the bombshell I had so kindly not been informed of._

_"But it'll be just you and Ken on this mission." Omi smiled sheepishly.  That kid really was a good actor.  "'Cause you see… I have a huge paper due tomorrow and there aren't any girls over 21 for Youji… Besides, the mission shouldn't be too hard."_

_"…Hn."_

_::End Flashback::_

Those stupid idiots.  I can't believe they would just ditch me here with Aya.  'Course it is kinda nice to be all alone with him… and in the dark too…  Okay, Hidaka, stop that train of thought right there; I am so glad it's so dark that it hides my blush.

C'mon, I'm a nineteen-year-old guy – do you expect my mind to be pure?

I clutch the laser gun at my side.  Yes, we are being very discreet about this.  

Don't ask me how we managed to convince Aya that the laser gun he was holding was an effective weapon…

Let's just leave it to a modern miracle.

But let's face it, once Aya hears the word "mission", it takes normal logic to a far off place away from him.

"Siberian," Aya said tensely, "Someone's coming."

Of course someone's coming. 

A certain two someone's.

Any guesses on whom?

"Let's get his started!" Youji said gleefully in the communicator in my ear.  "Aya's not going to know what's hit him!"

I sigh, refraining from commenting.  Would want Aya to think I was going crazy and talking to thin air.  

But I can't keep something from bugging me.

Like…

How the hell is this supposed to help Aya?!

Okay, people, let's stop and think for a second…

Goal of Plan: Defrost Aya… or try to…

Method: Take Aya to play laser tag  

Anyone see what's wrong with this plan?  

1 – Sure, he'll be doing something considered "fun" among normal people.  My point?  Aya sure as hell isn't normal.

2 – Some will definitely die under Aya's wrath, fake mission or not – most likely Omi or Youji (or me… eep…)

3 – Aya's going to have our heads (literally) when he finds out this was all a fake.

Times like these make me wish I had a normal boring life.  Can't really have that when I'm an assassin/flower shop…person…

I reflexively tense, hearing footsteps coming down the path.  

"Now!" Aya leaps out, unsheathing his katana.

Oh fucking great.

How the hell did he sneak that thing past security?!

I feel remarkably stupid standing here as I watch Aya chase after two figures, katana flashing in front of him.  Omi, Youji, and I had definitely not accounted for this.

Turns out my theory on how the laser guns were actually heat rays didn't quite convince him.

But it actually does make sense.  After all, Aya+mission=Aya+katana.  Don't even try to convince me that my math (or logic) is flawed.  I passed got through Algebra with a very impressive D+.

Wipe that stupid smile off your face.

I sigh, then follow after Aya, hoping that Youji and Omi would be alive after all this.  

Not that didn't deserve it, with their stupid plan and all.

It takes me awhile, but I soon catch up with Aya, Omi, and Youji.  

Hm… How odd…  I would've thought for sure that Omi and Youji would at least stop and try to save their necks by talking with Aya instead of running in this panicked erratic manner.  Then again, I probably wouldn't be doing any different.

For a fleeting moment, we pass under a light.  

I screech to a skidding halt.

Wait a second…

Instead of tell-tale blond like I had expected, I saw black and brown.

We're in deep shit.

"Uh, Ken…"  Omi says in my communicator uncertainly.  "You know the guys Aya's chasing…"

"They're sure as hell not us," Youji adds, helpful as ever.

"Fuck," I answer.

I resist the urge to either hit my head against the nearest wall or strangle Omi and Youji.  

Stifling a groan, I turn back to the sight of two innocent kids being chased by a katana-swinging maniac.  

A pity…

Ah, and those kids probably would've had such a bright future too.

…

Hidaka, what are you thinking?!  

Snapping back to whatever senses, my currently fried brain would allow, I took of sprinting after Aya.  "ABYSSINIAN!"  I decide that revealing our identities right now wouldn't be a very good idea unless we want our own little jail cell… or padded room.

"What, Siberian?" he snaps back, clearly distracted.  I wince, seeing as he managed to catch a lock of one of the kid's hair with his last swing.

"That's sort of… not the people we're supposed to kill."  I feel a sweatdrop growing rapidly on my head.  

Aya doesn't seem to hear me.  Seems he's in full-blown mission mode.

I put on a burst of speed, thankful for my soccer training.

And catch Aya in a full-blown tackle.

Which leads to a very pissed off Aya… and the two of us in a **very** compromising position.

I gulp, feeling my heart rate increase rapidly as I stared down at his very close face from my position on top of him.

"Siberian, explain," Aya says flatly.  Neither he nor I make any move to move from the position we're currently in.

"Uh…"  Thank goodness it's so dark.  I swear my face is overheating at this point.

"Siberian…" he growls.

All coherent speech I may have had is gone at this point.

Do you think Aya will kill me if I kiss him now?

"Aya!  Ken!"  

Seems I won't be able to find out.  

I hear Youji snicker from behind me.  "What kind erotic behavior are you two involved in?"

If possible, my face gets even redder.

Aya roughly shoves me off him, before getting to his feet and sending a **scary** death glare at all three of us.

I merely sit there, trying to think through my overheated brain.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Aya explodes.

"Uh…" Omi looks around nervously.  "I'm sure you really would like an explanation, but I think we should discuss this back at the flower shop…"

I think he's referring to the security guards beginning to pour in.

Well shit.

~*~

I sat back in my chair, trying to make myself as small as possible.

Aya was definitely mad.  Very very very mad.

You see, there are different stages in Aya-anger.  I, being a very observant person (and possibly bordering on obsessive), have noticed the subtle differences.

Simple death-glare – Aya is irritated.

More severe death-glare – Aya is very irritated.

Severe death-glare + twitching eye-brow – Aya is very close to being angry.

Severe death-glare + growl – Aya is angry.

Severe death-glare + 'Shi-ne' – Aya is very angry.

Severe death-glare + 'Shi-ne' + katana (i.e. – big explosion of anger) – Aya is furious

Severe death-glare + quiet controlled voice – You're dead.

Why do I have the urge to throw myself at his feet and beg for his ever-gracious forgiveness?

"We're sorry, Aya…" Omi whispers.  With silent consent, we had elected Omi to speak for us, seeing as his cute innocent look could rack up some points… and since Youji and I had far too much pride to ask for Aya's mercy.

Except when he has **that** death-glare.

"You're sorry?"  Aya's voice was dangerously soft.  "You put Weiss and innocent lives at stake for an idiotic idea of yours.  I was a step away from killing two children because of you.  We were nearly caught.  Weiss was nearly exposed."

I cringe, and then look guiltily down at the floor.

If I didn't have this ridiculous crush on Aya, then we wouldn't be in this mess.

"I'm sorry…" I blurt out, finally raising my gaze to look him in the eye.  I wince, seeing the anger within them.  

His eyes narrowed, as he leaned forward to look at me critically.  "Were you the one behind this?"

"Y-Yeah," I lie, my voice wavering.

"Ken!" Youji says sharply, looking at me.

"It's my fault.  All of this is."  I look at Omi and Youji pleadingly.  It was all true, really.  If I hadn't had a crush on Aya in the first place, then they would never have thought of this stupid plan.  "Omi and Youji… They… didn't really want to do this.  So, if you want someone to punish, it should be me."

"But Ken-kun--"

"NO!" I interrupt, looking at them with something between a glare and a pleading glance.  "It's.  All.  My.  Fault."

I can tell Aya's suspicious.

But then again, I don't really think he cares whose fault it is if he can still vent his anger out on someone.

"Kudou, Tsukino, you two will finish the accounting – and will not eat, sleep, or move from your seats until it's completely done."  Aya's glare turns to me.  "And Hidaka.  You will clean this place from top to bottom.  A single spot and you will clean the whole building again."

Instantly, protests start.

"What?!" Youji jumps to his feet.  "There are **hundreds of pages of paperwork!"**

"Aya…" Omi looks pleadingly of our dear leader.  "It'll take us **days."**

Aya glares… again.

I remain silent.

It is my fault after all.

With a sigh, Omi and Youji leave, heading for the daunting stacks of paperwork.  

Silently, I too stand, and leave to get the cleaning supplies.

It's going to be a long day.

~*~

To be continued…

~*~

Oh yeah, 'bout that Aya-anger thing, I'm not sure if it's completely accurate. ^^;;

Don't forget to review!  


	4. Cake and Flowers

Disclaimer – I don't own Weiss.

~*~

I sigh, picking up an old soccer keychain.  When had I gotten that…?  

I shrug, tossing it over my shoulder.  

Aya's evil.  I may love him, but he's still a big shit-head.

Okay, so maybe I deserved all this.  After all, as I said before, if I never had any feelings for Aya in the first place, then none of this would've happened.

I involuntarily shudder, picturing in my mind what would've happened to those kids if I hadn't been able to knock Aya down…

No, Ken, it didn't happen, so just forget about it.

I shove that unpleasant thought away. 

Come to think of it, Aya hasn't given us a long lecture yet.  'Course…  I really don't think that's a good thing 'cause it means he's probably too angry to even talk.

I shudder.

Aya's very scary.  Hell, I think he's the scariest person on earth.

But also the hottest.

No, don't look at me like that.  I am not obsessed.  Seriously.

I wrinkle my nose, smelling an awful odor.  Gingerly, I lift one of my old soccer jerseys to reveal a plastic container down there.

I blink.

Wait…  Isn't that…?

I open it.

Yup, that's it.  

A couple months ago, on Valentine's Day, I had baked a chocolate cake for Aya.  It was about a couple days after I realized my feelings for him.  Originally, I had been planning to give to him and confess my love.

But then, I saw Aya's very Aya-ish reaction to the fangirls who gave him chocolate and confessed their love.  He nearly bit their heads off.

Needless to say, I lost my courage after that.

Hesitantly, I peel off the container's cover.  I nearly drop the container as the smell intensifies.  

After a fit of coughing, I recover enough to pick it up again.  Grabbing a nearby stick (probably from one of the times I forgot to do my laundry) and poke at it.

Hm… It may smell really bad… but it doesn't look that bad.

And I'm hungry and not about let good food go to waste (Aya refused to let me stop cleaning for anything, even lunch).

Reaching in the container, I pull out a glob of brownish cake.  Hm… There's green stuff on it.  Heh, that's probably the icing I put on it.

I pop in it my mouth.

Hm… not bad.

I swallow.

And then gag.

Okay, it is bad.

After several unsuccessful attempts to throw back up the stuff, I give up and hope it doesn't kill me.  I'm tough, an assassin; cake can't kill me, right?

The rest of the cake is tossed in the trash.

Too bad… I'm still hungry.

~*~

As I realize far too late, 5 month old cake is really not good for you.  I had finally finished cleaning (doing a pretty good job, if I do say so myself) after a day later. 

"Ken-kun…?" Omi looks at me oddly, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing."  Unconsciously, I raise a hand to my mouth.  Oh kami, I think I'm going to throw up.

"You're turning green," Omi says flatly.

"I am?" I manage to get out.

"Yes."

"Hey, chibi." Youji walks over, leaning an elbow on Omi's shoulder.  Omi turns a brilliant shade of pink, but right now I don't feel good enough to tease him about it.  "Oi, what's up with KenKen?"

I don't reply.

"He looks sick."  Omi looks at me concernedly.  "Ne… Did you eat anything weird?"

"No," I lie.

Suddenly, Youji pauses.  "Ken…  By any chance…  Did you eat that weird looking stuff in the trash?"

"What stuff?"

Youji shrugs.  "Aya made me take out the trash, and I smelled something really crappy.  I was curious about what could smell that bad so I took a look.  Turned out it was this brown stuff in a clear container.  There was a chunk missing from it."

I flush.

Omi begins to twitch.  "Ken-kun…"

"I was hungry?" I say weakly.

"Did you even have any idea what it was before you ate it?" Youji asks wryly.

"Yes," I say defensively.

The both look at me with raised eyebrows.

"It was supposed to be Aya's Valentine's Day present," I mutter, sitting down in a chair and trying to ignore my queasy stomach.

Somehow, I don't think that was the right answer.

Omi begins to twitch more than then turns and walks away, muttering about getting aspirin.

Youji just stares at me and then whacks me on the head before following after Omi.

I blink owlishly after them.

~*~

A few days later, after going to the hospital for food poisoning, things were almost back to normal at the Koneko.  Aya had seemed to final calm down (after an hour long lecture on everything for safety to responsibility to anonymity).  

Thank goodness he was too angry over what we had done to even question why we had done it.

So I thought the worse had passed.

Unfortunately, when living with people as evil as Omi and Youji, normalcy with never be achieved.

"Guess what, Ken-kun," Omi says brightly, walking up to me as I arrange the tulips (careful not to drink anything near them ever again), "Youji and I have come up with a new plan."

With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I decide to play innocent.  "For what?"

Omi glares at me with a what-do-you-think-I'm-talking-about look.  "For your love for… um… tulips!  Yeah!"

What the hell?

As I stare at Omi as if he's gone crazy, I notice his gaze at a spot somewhere above my shoulder.

I glance backwards.

Oh.

Aya's standing there.

And he's giving both of us a very strange look.

Thanks a lot, Omi, now Aya thinks I'm even more of a weirder idiot.

Omi grabs my hand and tugs me away towards the back room.  Youji's already waiting.

I glance between them, my feeling of dread growing at the identical Cheshire cat-like grins on their faces.  "Do I even want to know…?"

Youji saunters over and drapes an arm over my shoulder.  "Chibi here and I have done some thinking and we think we've found a way for you confess your love in a subtle, romantic way."

I pretend not to notice Omi's jealous glare as I shrug Youji's arm off.

"You know," I say irritably, "Your first 'brilliant' plan completely back-fired in our faces.  Why the hell would you think this one would be any better?"

Omi smiled genkily (either from the fact Youji had decided to use him as an armrest now or from the supposed genius of his plan).  "This time it doesn't include anything remotely dangerous."

Somehow, I think the two of them could manage to make something dangerous out of the most innocent thing.

Like that time they decided the Koneko needed a bit of brightening (and a mascot).  And being the ever-so-logical people they are, they got a bunny.

Yes, a bunny.

Not a cat.

But a bunny.

And trust them to get possibly the only homicidal bunny on the planet.

I still have the scars that little bugger gave me.

Now, it's lying in its little box in the backyard after Aya had to 'rescue' us from its claws (do bunnies even have claws?) of death with his katana.

It was classic Weiss moment.

So you get my point about not trusting Omi and Youji with even the smallest task.  Somehow, I think that they're so serious during missions that they have to work off their craziness on poor me.

"You see, KenKen," Youji begins, an almost maniacal look on his face, "We work in a flower shop."

No duh.

"So flowers are something all four of us can relate to," Omi continues.

What the hell?

Am I the only one who thinks they're just babbling with no point?

"Including Aya."

"We all know the meaning of flowers."

"Especially Aya."

"Not to mention they're really pretty."

"Even Aya will agree.  Probably."

I glare at them.  "Just get to the point."

The both beam at me.

"You can use flowers to confess!"

…

…

Why do I have the bizarre image of myself using roses to spell out 'I love you, Aya'?

"See, you know that different flowers have different meanings right?" Omi rambles on.  "We were thinking you could use different flowers to spell out your message and then sign it with a Gentian so he'll know it's from you.  Smart, huh?"

…

…

I turn to leave.

"Hold it right there." Youji's looking at me with a definitely scary expression now.  "You are not going to chicken out."

I look at him.  "This is a stupid plan that won't work and I'm sure it's going to backfire spectacularly," I state flatly, "And I value my own life, thank you very much."

"But it'll turn out fine." Omi looks at me with huge sparkling blue eyes.  

I give them a yeah-right kind of look and turn once again to leave.

I hear a sniffle behind me.

Oh no.

"We worked so hard to help Ken-kun…"

"And now he's refusing all our thoughtful efforts…"

"Acting so cold towards us…"

"Chibi, I feel so sad and unappreciated…"

I hit my head repeatedly on the nearest wall.

…

…

No, I will not crack.

…

…

Okay, fine, I cracked.

"Let's give it a try," I finally sigh.

I'm a sucker for emotional torture.

"Yay!" Omi and Youji clasped hands and danced around childishly.

I am very disturbed.

~*~

I sighed, staring down at the flowers scattered on the table.  "Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Because Chibi and I put so much effort into this."

I hang my head.

"How about this one?"  Omi held up a primrose.  "It means that you can't live without him."

"I'm living perfectly fine right now," I say dryly.

"But it's so romantic!" Youji clasped his hands, fake tears gathering in his eyes.

"Youji, you're scaring me."  I sigh again.  "Okay then, put it in."

Youji snickered then picked up a spider flower.  "This one?"

Omi laughed.

"Do I even want to know?" I ask warily.

Youji stuck it into the arrangement.  "It means you want to elope."

I blush, hastily jumping up and pulling it out of the arrangement.  "Let's not go that far!"

"This is perfect for Aya."  Omi brandished a sweet william.  

Youji nodded.  "Yup."

I raise an eyebrow, glancing into the book of flower meanings.  "Grant me a smile?"  I laugh.  "Yeah, that does fit."

"This one definitely," Omi said with a twinkle in his eye, handing me a red tulip.  "It's a declaration of love… and also Ken-kun's supposed 'love'."

I glare.

"Oh!" Youji held up a lily.  "This is perfect."

I look at him suspiciously and then into the book.  My eyes bug out.  "YOUJI!"

Omi burst into hysterical laughter.

"I.  AM.  NOT.  A.  GIRL!"

~*~

Two hours later, we're done.

Red roses – I love you

Red tulips – Declaration on love

Primrose – I can't live without you

Mimosa (bloomed) – Concealed love

Camellia (pink) – Longing for you

Camellia (blue) – You're a flame in my heart

Carnation (red) – My heart aches for you

Gentian - Me

Anyone but me find that a bit too mushy for my tastes?

"It's perfect!" Youji chimes.

Omi nods enthusiastically.

I sweatdrop.

~*~

Two hours later, we're peering around the corner at Aya's room.  The flower arrangement had been placed on his doorstep and hour ago.

"My leg's falling asleep," I whine.

"Shut up," Youji snaps.

"Youji-kun, you're stepping on my foot!"

"Ow!  Watch where your elbow's going!"

The door opens.

We freeze, turning our attention to the door.

Aya steps out.

Right onto the flowers.

Three identical sweatdrops appear on our heads.

Aya looks down.

And steps backwards.

He picks up the flowers.

And peers at it.

"Get the hint… get the hint…" Youji's muttering next to me.

I bite my lip, my heart hammering in my chest.

Why do I suddenly want to run as far away as possible?

What if he hates me for this?

What if…

"What are you three doing?" Aya asks flatly, glaring in our direction.

In true assassin style, we fall around the corner in a heap.

I flush, sandwiched between Omi and Youji.

"Get off me… You guys are heavy!" Poor Omi pleads from the bottom of the pile.

"Youji!" I mutter, pushing up on him with my elbow.

"Ah, gomen."  Youji stands up.

I quickly follow, as does Omi.

"Uh… Sorry, Aya," I stammer.  "Um… I have to go!"  I spin on my heel and begin to walk stiffly away.

Youji grabs me by the collar.

"What are those, Aya-kun?" Omi asks innocently, gesturing towards the flowers.

Aya looks down at them.

I sweatdrop, tugging against Youji's grip.

Aya shrugged.  "Some girl."

We fall back down in a heap.

Aya walks away.

"Baka!" Omi wails.

Youji growls.  "How dense can one guy be?"

I sigh, wondering whether to be relieved or not.

"Okay."  Youji's eyes glint.  "Time for drastic measures."

I whimper.

~*~

To be continued…

~*~

A/N - *sigh*  I'm beginning to feel sorry for poor Ken now. ^^;;  Ohohohoho… And I have something very evil still in store for him.

I got the flower meanings from "http:// www. clareflorist. co. uk/ meanings. asp."


	5. Beware the Flood of Squash

_Whee… Halloween chapter! ^-^ It hasn't been proofread too well though, 'cause I really wanted to get it out today…  Just got home from trick-or-treating… _

_Thanks to all of you who reviewed! ^^  (**Sky Rat – No, you're not being a "git."  *sweatdrops*   I really don't know a single thing about flowers and had to look up a site to find them and their meanings… ^^;;)**_

_Happy Halloween, everyone!_

~*~

I smiled, putting a carved pumpkin up on to the shelf.  It was almost Halloween, and Omi, Youji, and I were decorating the Koneko.

Aya was holed up in his room yet again.

Damn that guy for being to antisocial.

Anyway, we had put an almost ridiculous amount of… hay… all through out the Koneko.  Youji said it was a good idea (saying something vaguely about farms and pumpkin patches), but I thought we just looked like some old barn.

It literally stunk like cow.

Well, that might have to do with the fact that we couldn't find any place that sold hay, so we had to sneak into old farmer Bob's (I'm not kidding; that was the guys real name) cow farm to get some, but that's beside the point.

We're assassins; do you expect us to be above common thieves?

I paused to admire my handiwork.  I don't claim to be an artist, but I think my pumpkin actually turned out pretty well.

"What the hell is that, Ken?" a voice asks from behind me.  Youji never has been one for tact.

I turn, giving him a slightly wounded expression.  "It's a pumpkin."

Youji rolls his eyes.  "I can see that.  I mean, what the hell did you do to the poor thing?"

"It's dead, Youji," I say sarcastically, "I don't think it felt any pain when I cut it up."

Youji snorted, then turned and walked back over to where he and Omi had been previously arranging waxed corn around a scarecrow.  

"What?!" I yell after him, pouting slightly.  I glance back up at the pumpkin.  I still say it looks nice.

I shrug and then hop back down from the ladder.  Youji isn't a brilliant artist himself; he still draws little stick people that are ridiculously out for proportion.

"Ken-kun!" Omi calls, "Can you hand me the squash from over there?"

I blink and turn to look at the huge pile of squash in the corner.  "Uh…"  Wordlessly, I walk over and pick up a single squash.

"Here." I hand it to Omi, a rather deadpan expression on my face.  "Would you like me to get you the other hundred also?"

Omi smiles cheerfully.  "They were having a sale at the store.  It seems they weren't getting sold very well, so the people at the store said I would get a special deal if I bought them all (you know how Aya-kun is with the budget).  Besides, Youji-kun likes squash, so I think I could just cook him the extra."

"Chibi, you're going to have over eighty left over," Youji said, his face turning slightly green.

I snicker at my mental image of Omi dropping a towering plate of squash in front of a mortified Youji.

"Can you get me another one, Ken-kun?" Omi asks, pointedly ignoring the gagging noises Youji was making.  "It looks odd with only one."

"Sure." I walk back over to the gigantic stack and pluck one out from the bottom.  

I gulp, staring down at the squash in my hands as a rumbling sound reaches my ears.  You know how they always say you really shouldn't pull the bottom orange out of a pyramid of them?

Beware the flood of the squash.

"What the fu--" Youji manages to get out – before a squash hits him right in the face.

Omi yelps and then dives behind the scarecrow for shelter.  It doesn't help much, as Omi now finds himself buried under a pile of squash and one scarecrow.

I sacrificially attempted to save my precious teammates from the brunt of the attack.

Okay, fine, I screamed and then dove behind the counter.

And realized the counter really would not help as a second later I had a squash humiliatingly stuck firmly on my head and covering my face.

I tug on the squash and to my chagrin find it stuck firmly on my head.  I sigh, knowing there will be no end to the teasing once I have to ask Youji for his help.

"Uh, guys," I said hesitantly, probing above my head for the counter to pull myself up.

"Ken…" I hear Youji's voice say threateningly.

I smile sheepishly, although I know they can't see my face.

"Ken-kun, what did you do?!" Omi demands.  He pauses.  "And what is that thing doing on your head?!"

"Trust me," I said dryly, my voice muffled, "It's definitely not intentional."

I hear Youji snickering.  Even Omi is trying to muffle his laughter.

"Ne, Chibi, do you have a camera?"

"Sorry, I don't.  Do you think Aya would have one?"

I scowl.  They're so mean.  "You know, you could help me here."

"Oh no." I can practically hear the smirk in Youji's voice.  "This is your punishment.  I'm going to enjoy this while it lasts…."  Youji's voice trails off.

I scowl even more and attempt to walk in the general direction of their voices.

And being me, I manage to trip on another squash along the way.  And I would've cracked the squash – and my head – open on the tiled floor if not for the soft sweater-like thing I felt catch me.

Wait, sweater-like.

Youji never wears sweaters.  And Omi hardly ever does – besides, he's shorter than me so it can't be him.

So it must be someone else.

Shit.

"What is going on?" Aya's voice said from above me, its tone deadly soft.

I feel my face overheat at the fact that he still hasn't made any move to release me yet.  It probably slipped his mind from the definite anger he felt.

Instantly, the three of begin babbling in unison.

"We wanted to decorate for Halloween--"

"--And Ken made this awful pumpkin--"  

"--What?!  It was not--"

"--And there was this deal at the store--"

"--For a hundred of those damned things--"

"--That Omi was going to make Youji eat--"

"--Which I will not do--"

"--You said you liked them--"

"--Yeah, I like it in small sparse amounts--"

"--This squash is suffocating me--"

"--Well it was your brilliancy that caused all this--"

"--I can't breathe--"

"--Too bad--"

"--Shit, this is humiliating.  An assassin dying from being suffocated by a squash--"

"Shut up."

We simultaneously gulp and close our mouths, waiting for our leader to pass judgment.

"What were you thinking?" Aya said dangerously.  At the whimpering sounds coming from Omi, I actually feel thankful for the squash on my head preventing me from seeing Aya's face.

"We were decorating for Halloween," Omi said defensively.  "And things just… got a little weird."

I seriously think I'm suffocating.

"And what possessed you to litter the floor with, of all things, squash?!"  Oh dear, Aya's very angry know if he's talking this much.

"It wasn't intentional!" Youji said irritably.  "Ken just had the bright idea to topple a pile of squash."

Yeah, it wasn't intentional… just like this squash on my head isn't intentional.  C'mon guys, a little help here?

Despite the current incapacity of my vision, I could still feel Aya's glare on me.  "I'll talk once I get this thing of my head," I mumble.  I can practically feel my face turning blue.

I yelp as I feel my neck stretch.  Finally, someone was helping me.  'Course, they weren't being as gentle as they could be, but hey, I'm desperate.

Unfortunately, the squash is on rather tight.

"Don't be so rough!" I snap, flailing my arms around blindly.  I hear a grunt and feel a rush of triumph as I manage to catch the offender in the stomach.

Yeah, I know I should be grateful…

…but this hurts like hell.

Finally, the damned thing is pulled off my head.  I rub at my eyes, adjusting to brightness of the Koneko.  As my vision clears, I feel my stomach clench.

Aya stands in front of me, a misshapen (and oddly familiar looking) squash held in his hands.  His eyebrow is twitching ever so slightly.

I smile sheepishly, subconsciously beginning to back away.  Oh man, I hit Aya…  

I'm gonna die.

"Hidaka," Aya says flatly.

I sweatdrop.  "I didn't mean to do it, really."  Do you think puppy eyes will work on him?  Wait, Omi's don't… and they're they ultimate puppy eyes.

Aya rubs his forehead.

I twist the bottom of my squash-splattered shirt and chew my lip.  

Please don't let me die.

Please don't let me –

I blink.

A hand is resting on my head.  I lift my head slightly, my eyes tracing the arm up to his owner.

I squeak, my face slowly overheating to a bright tomato red.

Aya is looking at me was a perfectly unreadable expression on his face.  "Baka," he said flatly.

I flush even more.  Omi and Youji are snickering behind Aya's back.

My mouth opens and closes like a goldfish.

"Clean this up," Aya said, his hand still not moving from my head.  He pauses.  "And then eat it.  All three of you."

I nod dumbly.

Omi and Youji fall over behind us.

I'm still nodding.

Aya then ruffles my hair slightly and walks away.

My mouth is still moving like a goldfish.

Five minutes later, his words finally sinking in.

"What the fuck?!"

~*~  
  
I poked at the plate in front of me.  

"This is a cruel and unique punishment," Youji moans.  Omi nods slightly next to him, his face already slightly green.

I sigh.  "You know, I think Halloween's my least favorite holiday now."

Youji suddenly perks up.  "Oh no, I think you're going to love it after this."

Oh, shit.  I suddenly find my mashed squash extremely interesting.

"Youji-kun," Omi said cautiously, "What are you talking about?"

Youji laughs.

I resist the urge to throw my plate in his face.

"Youji-kun…" Omi said warningly.

"We're going shopping tomorrow," Youji said brightly, putting a spoonful of squash into his mouth.  No…  His plan of doom must be terrible if it can make him eat this… this… crap with a smile on his face.  "For Halloween costumes."

"No." I flatly refuse, those there's that inkling in the back of my mind which tells me that no matter what I say, I'll get foxed into this.

"You're getting crabby, KenKen," Youji said matter-of-factly, "It's time to loosen up with some innocent childish fun."

I stuff a spoonful into my mouth to avert having to respond.  Somehow, I don't believe anything Youji comes up with is childish… and definitely not innocent.

"Oh!" Omi brightens also. "I didn't know we were going to dress up this year.  I thought Aya forbade that when you dressed us all up as a sort of harem."

Youji coughs.

Squash nearly flies out of my mouth at the reminder of that disaster.

"Technicalities…" Youji waves his hand flippantly.  "Trust me, Aya will love this."

My feeling of dread continues to grow.

Youji begins to cackle while shoveling squash in his mouth.  

Omi's smiling cheerfully.

I hit my head on the edge of the table.

"Okay, done with his plate!" Youji puts his spoon down.

Omi wordlessly takes the empty plate and walks over to the huge cauldron we're using for our slop.

It's almost still filled to the brim.

~*~

One day later, after stuffing ourselves with the crap and then successively throwing it up, the three of us are standing inside the crowded mall.  

I'm still fiddling in my head with the idea of whether to bolt or not.

"Okay, this way!"  Youji's in a remarkably good mood.  It's scary.

Omi prances behind him, holding in his hand Weiss' credit card.  This is a bad idea.  The thought of Persia seeing the bill we're going to rack up…

"C'mon, Ken-kun." Omi turns his irritatingly bright smile onto me.  "Don't look so scared."

Oh, I have every right to be scared.

Silently, I trudge behind them.  If I don't go along with this, I just know they're going to think up something worse.

Suddenly I stop.

"Youji…" I said hesitantly, "Isn't the costume store in the other direction."

"I know," Youji answers, smiling impishly.

"Where are we going?" I ask cautiously.

"You'll see."

I resist a whimper.

Two minutes later we're in front of a store.  It's Youji's favorite store – where he buys most of his clothes.

And you all know what Youji wears, don't you?

Omi flushes and buries his head in his hands.

Youji smiles a very hentai smile.

I turn to bolt.

I yelp, getting caught by the back of my shirt.  "Lemme go!" I flail to get away.  "There is no way I will wear anything in there.  I have my dignity!"  No response as I feel myself dragged in.  "I have my rights!"

"C'mon, Omi," Youji said, halfway through the door.

Omi is slowly inching from the entrance.  "I think I'm underage."

"No you're not!" I grab his arm, dragging him with me to my doom.  "I need moral support!"

'Course, I don't know what moral support he'll be with Youji and him obviously being on the same side.  But hey, at least he has some semblance of logic… I hope.

Omi keeps his eyes firmly squeezed shut as he and I are dragged by a gleeful Youji.  He opens his eyes a crack and promptly closes his eyes again, his face overheating, as he spots a toy used for *cough* interesting activities.

"I feel my innocence being stripped," Omi moans.

Innocence?  We're assassins and you're talking about innocence?

I squeak, spotting a pair of handcuffs.  What those are for I don't even want to know…

I feel very innocent.

And I would love to keep it that way if not for certain people.

Youji finally stops, and begins shifting through the racks.  He frowns slightly, concentrating.

I tug on his sleeve, glancing nervously around.  I would die if one of the mothers of my soccer kids saw me in a place like this.  "Youji, why are we looking for a costume in here…?"

A smirk creeps on Youji's face.  He begins to cackle again.

"Okay, fine, at least tell me what you're going to dress me up as," I said exasperatedly.

"A hooker."

I sputter and a flaming blush creeps to my cheeks.

Omi flushes and looks ready to sink in the floor.

"No no no!" I back away, waving my hands frantically in front of me.  "I will not be a… a…" I trail off as my face reddens even further.

Omi begins coughing, taking the opportunity to quickly hightail out of the store.  I move to follow but am once again stopped – this time by a yank to my poor hair.

"Youji!" I yell, struggling to get away.  This was enough.  Oh no, I would not be an easily blown stick anymore…  Youji won't be able to convince me to do this.

"Don't you want to be with Aya?" The look on Youji's face is scary.

I gulp.

No no no no no…

"If you can't the guy by ordinary means, then you have to do things you wouldn't normally do and things that I would normally do.  Trust me; the best way to get someone is through seduction."

I choke.  "Youji, do I look like the type that could seduce anyone?"

Youji glanced me up and down.  "Yes."

I bolt.

And am once again snatched back.

"No no no no no!" I hope frantically for some kind soul out there to take mercy on me.  Either that or I yell enough to get security to come and kick us both out.

Youji leans his face very close to mines.  "Ken…"

"Hai." I gulp.

"You will do this or I will kiss you right now."

I choke again.  "Eep…"

Youji smirks.  "Not that that's necessarily a bad thing."

"Very bad thing…" I mutter.

Youji looks affronted.  "I'm offended."

I glare.

Isn't blackmail illegal?

Okay, I will not dress up in something like… that.  But then again, getting kissed by Youji is nowhere near the top of things I want in life.

"I'm waiting, Ken," Youji said, leaning even closer.

I shove him away.  "Give me the stupid costume."  I pause.  "On one condition."

"Name it," You said instantly.

I smirk.  "Since you choose my costume, I choose yours and Omi's."

"Deal."

~*~

One hour and a lot of swearing later, Youji and I meet Omi in front of the store.

He's happily eating a strawberry ice-cream crepe. 

"Hi!" He smiles uber-genkily at us.  "Did you get a costume, Ken-kun?"

I glare.

Youji laughs.

Omi smiles.

I resist the urge to slice them into nice itty-bitty cubes with my bugnuks.  That is, if I had them with me.

Though the knowledge of my side of the deal does provide quite a bit of comfort…

~*~

"Ken, get out of there!"

"It can't be that bad!"

…

…

Not bad my ass.

I peer out from my edge of my door, spotting Omi and Youji standing in front.  My wounded pride is given a major boost at the sight I see.

You see, since they were doing a plan from the bowels of Hell on me, I made sure they would get back as much as they received.  

We had headed to the costume store on the other side of the mall and there I selected what the two would have to wear.  Of course, in the process I had them try on a whole bunch of ridiculous costumes for a much needed laugh.

Never shall I forget Youji the tooth fairy or Omi the Barney.

But in the end, I had decided to select something that wasn't _too_ bad, since I had already gotten my revenge in seeing them all dressed up.

Omi was a Pikachu.

Youji was pink Power Ranger.

I snickered slightly to myself.

"Shut up, Ken," Youji snapped.  He crossed his pink-clad arms over his chest.

"It can't be any worse than this."  Omi scowls, waving his now chubby arms.  "I can barely even move in this thing."

I snicker again.

"Get the hell out of there," Youji said flatly, "Or we're both changing back."

I hesitate, poking my head further out to make sure there's no one else in the hallway.  After a couple seconds, I push open the door and step out, hugging my arms around myself for my smallest shred of dignity.

Youji catcalls.

Omi blinks and flushes.

I try to make myself as small as possible.

"Lookin' good, KenKen," Youji hoots.

I look away.

"Now!" Omi said, brightly, looking anywhere but me, "Let's find Aya!"

"No!" I move to scamper back into my room.  "I promised to wear this – not to wear this and show it to Aya!"

Youji grabs me by to back of the choker/collar I'm wearing and drags me struggling down the hall.  Omi waddles along side us.

"I want a lawyer!" I yell, though I really don't know how the hell that pertains to my situation.

They ignore me.

I whimper as we get nearer and nearer to the front of the Koneko where we had Aya on candy duty.  Heh, Youji said that since it was Halloween, we should have the scariest of us all in front.

Aya then glared and the look he gave us further proved Youji's point.  Besides, it was either he pass out candy or goes trick-or-treating with the three of us.

It's fairly obvious which he would choose.

"Mercy mercy mercy mercy!" I yell.

"Shut up, Ken," Youji snapped.  "You call even more attention that way."

I shut my mouth but do nothing to cease my struggles.  No way am I going into this willingly.

"Oi, Aya!" Youji hollers.  Geeze, wouldn't that catch even more attention than my yelling?  So smart Youji is.

Aya glances in our direction – as does all the fangirls gathered around him.  I stifle the feeling of envy that begins to rise in me.

Time seems to freeze.

And then…

Suddenly Youji and Omi feel the same urge as me to run.

You thought a flood of squash was scary?  Well, a flood of fangirls is unlimited times worse.

"Uwa~!  Omi-chan is so cute!"

"Wow, I never though Youji-sama looked so good in pink!"

"Look at Ken-kun!  Doesn't he look so hot?!"

Girls are pinching Omi's cheeks and tugging on his long pointy ears.

Youji is beginning to settle back into his element, flirting with the girls surrounding him.

I am beginning to sprint, using my years of soccer training to my benefit.  'Course I'm a goalie and not exactly meant for running, so I was soon overcome…

"Ken-kun's mine!"

"No way!  He's mine!"

"My gosh, I never knew he could look so good!"

I flush, beginning to back away.  "Uh…"

"Get your candy and leave!" a deep voice booms throughout the shop.

"But Aya-sama…" Similar protests soon arise – even one by Youji.

Aya glares.

They leave.

I sigh in relief.  And then I remember what I'm wearing and turn to hightail it out of here.

"Hey, Aya," Youji says casually, "What do you think of KenKen's costume?"

I freeze is mid-step.

"Hn."

Was that a 'yes' hn or and 'no' hn?  Wait, what am I thinking?!  I'm starting to act like one of those… those… fangirls.

I sense someone coming closer.

Peering over my shoulder, I spot of all people Aya coming towards me.  I flush and suddenly feel my heart start hammering.

"Um… this is… ah… um…" I stammer, twisting my hands nervously on the short hem of my black almost sheer tank top.  You know, if I think about it, if the two of us were (despite what I perceived as a slim chance) to get together, I wonder if it'll ever work out as I always seem to act… strange… when around him.

I feel my blush intensifying even further as I feel his eyes scan over me, stopping on my face.  "You look good," he said flatly and quietly.

I can die happy.

Five minutes later I'm still staring dumbly at the door he left in.

~*~

_Slightly OOC Aya, but hey, this is fanfiction…  And as for Ken's outfit, well, I'll leave most of it up to your imagination. ^^_


	6. Alcohol is Not Good for Evil Maniacs

_…This fic is getting sillier by the minute.  Can you believe that for awhile I was trying to make something with a plot?  And then it sort of ran away on its own…  So plans for an angsty sequel are erased.  I just don't have the heart to mess up something this light-hearted._

_But I do plan to do another (much more serious) Weiss fic with the idea I had…_

_*sigh*  Sorry this chapter took so long (yet again…).  I had the beginning written quite some time ago… but then hit a wall as to where to go with it.  And then after I finished most of it, I read it and realized there's just something not right with it.  I still can't figure out what it is though…  _

_Anyway…__  Hope this thing is still PG-13.  I never was very good with ratings…_

_Oh yes, does anyone know the age a person can drink alcohol in __Japan__?  For this fic, I'm just assuming that it's 21 just like here in the __U.S.__…_

_Happy __Turkey__ Day, minna! ^^  Thanks to everyone who reviewed!_

~*~

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss.

~*~

I moaned, burying my face in my hands.  Why me?  It's not fair; whatever deity up there must have some sort of grudge against me…

It's not like I do anything bad is it?  Uh, well, other than the assassin thing.  I mean, I even coach little kids soccer!  For all anyone knows, I could be helping them be the next Pele or Mia Hamm!

Youji suddenly starts laughing for absolutely no sane reason.

Why why why me?! 

Omi hiccups.

I sigh miserably.  Of all things, my two idiotic friends had decided to see how many bottles of beer they could down.  Why?  Because they had seemingly 'accomplished' half of their goal.

For some odd reason, they think extracting a compliment from Aya is the halfway point of their plan.  Personally though, I think Aya just ate some toffee or something that screwed up his brain for a bit.

Of course, I do agree that a compliment from Aya is seen every… decade or so.

A bottle is shoved in front of me.  I blink.

Youji slaps me on the back.  "Oi, KenKen, we're celebrating *hic* this for you!"

"Uh, underage," I say lamely.

"I'm underage!" Omi says brightly, downing another gulp.

I twitch.  "Omi, you're supposed to be the sensible one of us!  Why the hell are you, who I might add is only seventeen, getting drunk on the kitchen table when Aya could be walking in at any second?!"

Omi blinked fuzzily.  "It tastes good."

My head thunks against the table.  You know what, I give up.

"M'brain feels sorta fuzzy…" Youji mumbles, staring out into air.

Omi nods.  "Mm."

"I think that's a sign that means 'stop drinking'," I say dryly.

Youji suddenly laughs, slapping the table so hard the bottles of beer on the counter fly up and back down, the contents splashing all over – even in my face.

I cough, spitting out the disgusting stuff.  Beer is something I have zero tolerance for.  The sort of floaty feeling's nice, but the hangover and consequences are never worth it.

Of course, that's stemming from the last time I got wasted, which almost resulted in me singing a drunken serenade for Aya out on public streets at 12 AM dressed in Youji's old Halloween costume from last year, if not for the police who hauled me off on grounds of public indecency.

Needless to say, Aya was not very pleased.

"Ken-kun dun need this… this stuff, 'cause he's, uh, floaty-ish already from that… what Aya did." Omi nods sagely.  Or would've been sagely if not for the cross-eyed look he gained afterward from the action of nodding his already fried brain.

Youji laughs again.  "Me thinks you made your brain go whooshy."

Oh dear god.

"Whooshy."  Omi giggles.  "That's a good word."

I stand.  "You know what.  You two just stay here and get nice and drunk.  I for one am going to bed."

"NO!" Omi grabs my sleeve.  "Ken-kun needs to get drunk!  'Cause… 'Cause… Then we can be happy!"

They're seriously not going to be happy tomorrow morning.

"KenKen doesn't need this stuff." Youji snorts, downing what seems to be his tenth can.  "Aya makes him plenty happy."  He proceeds to shoot the can towards the trash can – missing by approximately five feet.  "Oops."

Oh, Youji will definitely not be happy tomorrow.  He broke Aya's favorite kitty mug.

"But Youji-kun," Omi whines, clearly not knowing he's talking to the oven rather than Youji.  "Ken-kun **has** to get drunk!"

Youji blinks.  And blinks again.  And again.  "Oh fuck.  He does, doesn't he?"

I begin to back away.  They have a plan.  Or had one, before they got totally wasted.

Youji grins, grabbing a can off the table (and not noticing it was completely empty).  He staggers over, catching Omi by the shoulder to hopefully gain some support.

They both fall to the ground in a giggling heap.

In a very compromising position, I might add.

"Here." Youji holds up the empty can up in the air.  I look sarcastically off to the right at the plant he's offering the can to.

"M' don't think that's Ken-kun," Omi says blandly, lifting Youji's arm up to get a better look.  "He's over there."

You know, Omi, I find it rather insulting that you think I resemble the fridge.

"Oh." Youji looks blearily at the fridge.  "Yeah, that's Ken."

I'm beginning to feel rather miffed.

"Guys," I say carefully, "I really think you should stop and go to sleep or something.  If Aya shows up you'll be in a lot of trouble."

"I don't think it'll be very comfortable on the floor," Youji says dumbly.

"I'm comfortable." Omi snuggles up to Youji.

I groan.

"Speaking of Aya," Youji says thoughtfully, or as thoughtful as his mind can currently manage.  "Where's that ice cube?"

"Yeah," Omi blinks, trying to organize his thoughts.  "Ken-kun was s'posed to get drunk."

"Aya was s'posed to come back."

"And get drunk.  Dun forget that."

"And then fuck Ken on the kitchen floor."

"First of all," I interject, "Aya would never get dru…"  I fade off as the words finally sink in.  "WHAT?!"

Youji grins.  "Me n' chibi geniuses."

"You… you…" I sputter, half-way between anger and utter mortification.

"See," Omi says logically, or at least logically to him, "Now you have to get drunk."

I sink to the ground.  "No.  No fucking way."

"But dun you want Aya to--"

"NO!" I interrupt loudly, waving my arms for extra effect.  "I do **not want to have **sex** with **Aya** on the kitchen ****floor!"**

Youji laughs.  "Dun deny it KenKen.  You wants it."

No no no… This is just **wrong.**  

I don't want…

Okay, so maybe I sort of – NO!  I will **not** become some dirty-minded pervert like Youji!

"KenKen's disagreeable," Youji says.  I snap myself out of my pit of denial to notice with some amusement that he's still lying on the floor with Omi snuggled up next to him.

Omi sniffles and actually begins to **cry.  "But Youji-kun, we worked so hard on this plan!"**

The old guilt trick won't work on me this time!  This goes against my morality!

…Don't even say it.

"All this wasted!" Omi babbles on, wiping tears away with the back of his hands.

"Omi, I am not going to fall for that," I say bluntly.

Omi pouts.

Youji suddenly brightens.  "Wait, something has to come out of this plan."

"Huh?" Omi blinks fuzzily.

Youji smirks, an almost crazed expression in his eyes.  "Someone has to do some sort of perverted act in here."

At this point, I'm thinking 'oh fuck.'

And then Youji kisses Omi.

I blink.

And blink again.

And promptly get my ass out of there.

The kitchen door slams shut behind me as I careen in whatever direction that will take as far as possible from that place and the… the… the… act being committed in there.

Oh god, images I never wanted to see promptly assaulted my brain.

"Shit!" I fall back, crashing hard into a solid object.

"Hidaka."

I flush, looking up at the perfectly expressionless face of Fujimiya Aya.

"What are you doing?" he asks, his tone barely-suppressed irritation.

"Youji… Omi… They… They… They're… uh… um…"

Aya's eyes narrow.

"Doing… doing… um… stuff!" I finish lamely, my face promptly overheating.

"What.  Are.  They.  Doing?"

My face flushes further.

"Bad stuff in the kitchen," I say vaguely, really not wanting to tell **Aya** what they were doing.

Aya leans his face very very close to mine.

Uh, what was I thinking about again?

"Hidaka."

"Kitchen," I say dumbly.  Oh shit, I don't think I was supposed to say that.

Aya's walking over to the kitchen.  And he's dragging me with him.  By the wrist.

…So what was I worried about again?

Images hammer my brain.

…Oh yeah, that.

Shit!

Promptly, my heels dig themselves into the ground.  "No!  Aya!  Stop!"

The only response I get is the death-glare-of-doom.

"I'm serious, Aya," I say desperately, struggling to no avail.  "You do **not want to see what's going on in there!"**

Of course, he completely ignores me and flings the door open.  

My eyes are squeezed shut.

"What the **hell** are you doing?!" Aya's voice booms.

I whimper.  Oh god, I don't want to see this.

"Oh hey, Aya," Youji says cheerfully.

I whimper more, huddled behind Aya.  Shocking isn't it that he doesn't push me away.

"You okay, Ken-kun?" Omi says, his voice laced with concern.  

I am **not** okay.  And it's your damn fault too.

"Aw, KenKen, we didn't scare you that badly, did we?"

Of course you did!  I did **not** want to think of those two doing… doing… that!

I bury my face deeper into Aya's back.

"Ken-kun…"  I feel a hand pat me on the head.  "It was only a joke."

It was not a –

What?

Slowly, I lift my head, blinking.  

"You were joking," I say flatly.  

Omi smiles cheerfully.  "Yup."

He and Youji were standing – fully clothed – next to each other.  A trash bag filled with empty cans was clutched in Youji's hand.

"You were joking," I repeat, an almost hysterical edge creeping into my voice.

Youji shrugs.  "Since our plan fell flat on its face, we figured we could at least get some amusement out of this."

I sink to the floor, laughing.

"Ken-kun." Omi pokes me.  "Are you okay?"

"No," I answer, still unable to stop laughing.

"Oh god, chibi, I think we traumatized him."

Yes, I feel very traumatized right now.  

Youji and Omi merely stand there, looking slightly disturbed by my insane laughter.  Finally, they both give up and start, of course, laughing their asses off.

Aya twitches.

"Oh man, you should have seen the expression on your face, KenKen!"

"…You would've reacted like that too!"

"Chibi might've, but I wouldn't have!"

"Yeah, 'cause you're so perverted, Youji-kun."

"I don't deny it."

"What is going on?" a steely voice cuts in.

Eep.

All three of us simultaneously froze and turned to await our bleak fate.

Aya's eyebrow twitches.  "Do you remember what I said about alcohol?"

"That… That wasn't to have any?" Omi said in a small voice.

Aya glares.

"Hold it!" Youji steps forward, shoving a can in Aya's face.  "Look, it's not alcohol!"

I blanch.

Aya peers at the can.

Omi sweatdrops.

Youji grins.

I snatch a can from the trash bag.  "Youji…"  I look closer.  "What the fuck were you thinking?!"

It's root bear.  It's a can of fucking root beer.

"C'mon, KenKen." Youji rolls his eyes.  "Do you really think chibi and I are stupid enough to get drunk and not be sober enough to truly appreciate the fruit of our efforts?!"

I immediately begin a coughing fit.  "You were going to watch Aya and me do **that?!"**

Omi flushes.  "NO!"

Even Youji has the grace to look affronted.  "Even I wouldn't do that."

Aya's looking confused – and furious at that fact.  

"Eheheheheheh…" I sweatdrop.  "It's nothing, Aya."

'It better be nothing' is the look Aya is giving me.

I smile nervously.

Aya leaves.  I think he just really doesn't want to know what we were doing.  And since it isn't something directly harmful to Weiss… he'd rather just not waste his time with it.

I sigh in relief.

"Ne, Ken-kun?" Omi finally says, "Are you mad at us?"

"…Yes… And no…"

"…We're sorry…"

No, Omi, not those eyes!  Remind me to kill who the hell made up those puppy eyes.

"Look, guys."  I run my hand through my hair (and unconsciously messing it up even further).  "I really appreciate that you're trying to help.  But as any idiot can tell, you're causing more harm than good."

Omi whimpers.

Youji scowls.

I sweatdrop even further.

"It's really nice of you guys to try," I add hastily, "But… I think this is a mostly hopeless case here."

"No!" Youji grabs me by the shoulders firmly, shaking me back and forth.  "Stop it with the damn pessimistic attitude!  This is you we're talking about – hopelessly stubborn KenKen!  Does not thou love for Aya sustain thy hope?!"

I'm struck speechless.

Omi speaks for me.  "You're scary, Youji-kun."

So very true.

~*~

To be continued…

~*~

_Yes, totally pointless chapter.  But not to worry, next chapter I **will** include something between Aya and Ken! ^-^_

_*sweatdrops*  This fic is getting dirtier by the chapter.  Ack, I didn't mean for it to become this way…  It just happened, 'cause my little twisted mind kept telling me 'what if this happened?'.  _


	7. Deadly Icepacks

_Uh, been awhile…  *sweatdrops*  Sorry…  The chapter's kinda short too…  _

_And looking back, I realize just how OOC all the characters are. o_0  Oh well, this is supposed to be stupid and funny, so it's alright, huh?_

_Thanks, everyone who reviewed! ^^ _

~*~

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss.

~*~

There are very few things in this world that I believe in.  Soccer, my bugnuks, and the fact that Aya will kick my ass if I screw up.

Of course, believing in something doesn't exactly mean it's something I'm always conscious of – which points as to why I time and time again mess up and naturally get my ass kicked once again.

Like now.

"What were you thinking?" Aya asks flatly.

I laugh nervously, while mentally planning fascinating new ways to kill someone – preferably two blond florists/assassins.

You know, I can just imagine you sitting there thinking 'Oh, poor wittle KenKen… Omi and Youji are so mean to the poor guy' and I could just kiss you for it.

*snerk*  Maybe that would make Aya jealous.

I repeat, I am not obsessed.

Aya's eyebrow twitches.  I can practically imagine it now…  He'll whip out his katana, yell shi-ne, and then chop me into tiny little bits…

And they say being killed by the one you love is a beautiful thing.  

I being a non-romantic just say it'll just hurt like hell.

So, yeah, here I am staring down my death with iron will and an unceasingly brave heart.  As I lift my eyes up, resolve shining brightly…

Who am I kidding?  I run like hell.

"Shi-ne!"

Guns, bombs, grenades, and insane psychics I can deal with.  Those I have absolutely no problem with facing down to the death.

A crazed red-head with a sword is a whole different story.

You see, Aya has a sense of scariness that most evil maniacs strive to achieve.  I mean, I don't think he'll seriously kill me, but well, if you see the expression on his face, you would think you were headed to a fate worse than death.

As I am now.

A catcall reaches my ears, the perpetrator being one of said members worthy of my wrath.  A replying 'shhhhhhh' is evidence of his compatriot.

"Go, KenKen!" a raucous voice calls from somewhere upstairs, "Better keep running or else he'll be all over you!"  A pause.  "Wait, stop running!"

I squeak and somehow trip on air, falling down rather ungracefully in a twitching heap.  Somehow I think that was intentional.

"Ne, Youji-kun, I think Ken-kun fell."

"No, you think."

"Should we go help him?  What if he broke his leg or something?"

"Nah, KenKen falls a lot, so he knows how to do it without seriously harming himself.  Besides, Aya can help him, and I'm sure that's what little KenKen would prefer more."

"Oh.  What if Aya kills him?"

"He won't."

A lengthy pause.

"Or at least I don't think so."

"Youji-kun!"

"He can't kill him.  It would just screw everything up."

"Huh?"

"I mean, it would just ruin their chances at a suitable relationship.  After all, it's impossible to have a relationship if one of the members is dead."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

You know, it's really very touching they're so concerned for my welfare.  Nice friends, huh?

Nervously, I lift my head, a sheepish smile on my lips.  "Uh, nice day isn't it, Aya?"

Aya doesn't look amused.  He leans forward slightly, violet eyes narrowing.  "Again, what were you doing?"

Well, at least Omi and Youji were right about one thing.  Doing something stupid and getting in trouble is the best way to get Aya's attention.

Of course, per usual, they leave out the fact that it will only bring negative attention.  And sure, Aya will notice me, but he'll notice me as a bumbling idiot.

Humans are such intelligent beings.

"Um," I stammer, "Trying to bake a cake?"

Omi and Youji had told me that the best way to a man's heart was through his stomach (ah, the cliché sayings…).  So there I was attempting to bake a cake, with my admittedly dismal skills.  

But unbeknownst to naïve little KenKen, two certain idiots had sent me with a recipe that would purposefully explode in the oven.  That, and somehow wire the oven so it'll explode when I set it to a certain temperature.

If I remember correctly, their plan was either to (a) hope the explosion will neither kill nor mortally wound me, and instead shall beat me up enough that it'll scare Aya to death and he'll declare his undying love for me or (b) the explosion would miss me, Aya would get pissed off, I'll make puppy dog eyes, and Aya will go squealie at the uber-kawaiiness of KenKen and then declare his undying love.

…I repeat, any plan made by human intelligence is headed for disaster and ultimately just a load of shit.

Undying love my ass.    

"Hidaka," Aya says flatly, "You can't cook."

I blink, feeling as if I've entered the twilight zone.  Okay, how many of you guys thought Aya was going to say that?  Aya as in super serious focused Aya who doesn't give a shit other than anger=katana=kill.

"I know that," I answer weakly, "But…  Uh, I was… uh… making it for you."

…Did I just say that out loud?

Fuck.

Aya lifts an eyebrow at that.  

"Um, I mean, " I say hastily, scrambling into a sitting position, "Omi and Youji told me that… you were, uh, kind of grouchy, so… it might help you feel better?"

Aya is still looking at me with a perfectly emotionless face.

I'm wishing for a space station to conveniently crash, preferably on top of the Koneko.

"I'm not grouchy," Aya finally says stiffly after a lengthy pause.  

I blink at the definitely un-Aya-like expression on his face.

And promptly punch myself in the face.

Ouchie.

Aya's looking down at me with a 'what the hell?' glare.

"Uh, this is a dream, right?" I say weakly, rubbing at the bruise beginning to form on my cheek.

Aya's beginning to twitch.  And promptly turns on his heel and leaves, tossing his katana with a crash into the wall.  Eh, am I the only one who thinks he's irritated with me again?

But looking on the bright side, I have proven that stupidity is the best way to avoid death.  You see, people take pity on stupid people and think that leaving them in their haze of stupidity is far crueler than ending their pathetic existence.

…Yup, that's me, logical to a fault.

"Hidaka."

I squeak, my head snapping up.  

Aya glares.

…Oh, I think he's come back to finish the job.  Ack, why couldn't he have just killed me with the sword?  I mean, disembodiment would have killed me instantly and for the most part painlessly.  

Do you think getting shot it the head and having my brains blown out would kill me before any serious pain?

Wait.

I blink.  

How does Aya expect to kill me with… an icepack…?

Interesting, maybe he'll smash it on my head so hard that it'll crack my head open.  How pathetic – my death shall be by icepack.

Aya kneels in front of me.

"Don't kill me," I blurt out.

Again, the 'what the hell?' glare.

You know, by now I should've learned to keep my mouth shut.

Aya lifts the icepack.

I flinch backwards… until I feel a cold pressure against my cheek.

Aya… Aya isn't…

Okay, this has to be a dream.  Aya can't be a kind caring individual.  It's just… not Aya.  Gah, what the fuck did this imposter do with Aya?!  I want my Aya back!

"I scare you," Aya stated softly.

…Yup, a dream.  Aya is not supposed to talk like this…  It's just not right.

And yes, he does scare me.  But that's only when he has his katana and the impulse to kill me.  Otherwise, god Aya, how dense can you be?!

"Uh, sometimes," I finally say uncertainly.

"Aa."

"So… kiss it and make it better?" I say hopefully.  Hey, if this is a dream, I'll milk it for all its worth.  But then again, dream Aya can't be that out of character, right?

My eyes widen as I feel a light touch on one cheek as Aya leans over and presses the lightest of kisses on my bruise.

Yes, a dream.  A very nice dream.

Everything looks all floaty…

Wordlessly, Aya shoves the icepack into my hand, stands, and walks away.

I think I'll just sit here for awhile.

"KenKen…" Youji's voice is full of pity as he walks over with Omi in tow.  "How do you expect to have a relationship when you get all embarrassed at something as small as that.  Oh, at this rate, you'll never be any good in bed."

Omi squeaks at that.

"Hi, are you here to mess up my dream life too?" I ask vaguely.  

Silence.

"Ken-kun… This isn't a dream," Omi finally says warily.

Oh.

How quaint.

What the fuck?!

"What do you mean this isn't a dream?!" I screech, jumping to my feet.  "No, no, this is just my imagination trying to trick me into thinking this is reality!"

"Oh, KenKen…" Youji pats me sympathetically on the head.  "What a simple-minded little boy you are…"

This must be dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream; this must be a dream…

Oh shit, it isn't a dream.

"I… said… that…" I finally say shakingly.  "…And Aya really did that…"

"See!" Omi pats me cheerfully in the shoulder.  "This proves Aya likes you too!"

"…Fuck," I continue on obliviously, "I said that.  I actually said that.  And I punched myself in the face.  Like an idiot.  The idiot I am.  Aya thinks I'm an idiot too, doesn't he?  But that's the truth, isn't it?  Right?  Shit, I'm confused now."

"Ken-kun's not acting very sane."

Omi, when am I ever sane?

"Yeah, I think Aya shocked him for a loop this time."

"I can't believe Aya-kun actually did that.  Really, I thought it would take much more to get him to do something."

"Yeah, the guy surprises me all the time."

"But it was sweet, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Ken-kun's eyes are going blank."

"Oh.  Is that a bad thing?"

"I think so."

OWIE!

"What the hell did you do that for?!" I yelp, rubbing my poor abused head.

"Chibi here thought you were going to faint."

I scowl.  "I don't faint.  That's a girlie thing."

"Then what about that time with the fish?"

"Youji, that was from suffocation."

Just don't ask.

"So you must be happy, huh?" Youji grins.  "The first step to a bright new relationship has been taken!"

Happy?  If anything, I'm absolutely mortified.

"Yes, it is great, isn't it?" Omi says dreamily.  "Soon they'll be cuddling on the couch, holding hands during missions…"

What the hell?

"Suspicious noises coming from upstairs…" Youji added, a lecherous expression on his face.

"YOUJI[-kun]!" Omi and I yell, whapping him simultaneously on the head.

~*~

_Heehee…  Something's finally growing between Aya and Ken…  Next chapter's going to focus a bit on Youji/Omi though (c'mon, you can't expect innocent little Omi to let the kiss from last chapter go just like that, right?)._


	8. Diapers are for babies, not grown men

_Um… I'm not dead?_

_::sweatdrops::  This was supposed to be out for Valentines Day… but I sort of got side-tracked with other stuff.   I'm sorry; I'm just a naturally lazy person. _;;  And there was supposed to be Youji/Omi in here, but they decided not to cooperate. T_T  But, well, for sure in the next chapter, as I have things getting set up in this chapter…_

_So… this is out on White Day instead of V-Day. ^^;;  Yep, 10 at night here, but technically still White Day…  And sorry for spelling/grammatical errors, as it's getting late and I don't quite feel like proofreading.  Uh… when the fic's finished, I'll go back and edit/revise the whole thing so things (such as tenses) actually make sense._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss._

~*~

Youji is in an unusually good mood.

And that, my dear friends, is a very scary thing.

"Hey, KenKen, which one, the pink one or the white one?"

But the scariest thing is the store that he had dragged both Omi and I to.  Pink.  It's totally and completely _pink_.  Well, with random splatterings of red and white, but you get the point.

"White, Youji," I say, my voice carefully controlled.

"But…" Youji frowns.  "Girls like pink, don't they?"

"Yeah, I guess.  But some get really bitchy about it.  What kind of girl is this for?"

"Uh… a tomboyish one."

"Definitely white.  Right, Omi?"

"Huh?  Oh yeah."

Poor little Omi…  I'm really starting to feel sorry for the kid.  

I mean, while I know that my love for my Aya is most likely unrequited, at least he doesn't go throw himself at other… uh, guys?  But Youji…  Youji is a stupid insensitive jerk.

Either he has no idea how much like a rejected puppy Omi looks right now, or he just is a cruel bastard who enjoys tormenting the souls that have somehow fallen for the moronic being he was.

"Youji," I say, my voice perfectly calm, "Exactly how many do you plan on buying?"

Youji pauses for a moment, before turning and snagging another bear off the shelf.  "I'm not sure."

"And why not?"

He flashes a grin in my direction, accompanied with a cheeky wink.  "I'm a popular guy."

Omi and I exchange dry glances.

"Youji-kun," Omi says, "People are starting to look at us funny."

You think.  I glance surreptitiously around the shop, sending a very irritated glare at shoppers who obviously found us _so _interesting.

Youji shrugs.  "So?"

"I forgot," I deadpan, "You're shameless."

Youji merely throws me a cheeky grin.

"But you know," I say dryly, "With all the stuffed teddies you're buying, it's pretty obvious that you're a player."

"I'm an honest person."

Omi sighs, looking morosely at the pile of bears in the shopping cart.  "Sometimes I think you're too honest, Youji-kun."

I'm inclined to agree, as Youji flounces over to a nearby display and begins to pile sickeningly pink heart-shaped boxes into the cart.

"Youji," I finally say, my voice a carefully-controlled monotone.  "To put it bluntly, just how many girls did you fuck this year?"

Youji pauses.  Omi twitches.

The fact that it took more than a minute for Youji to count up the amount really wasn't helping any.

"…I can't remember."

I promptly begin hitting my head repeatedly against a life-size replica of Cupid.  And promptly stop once I realize that instead of being a life-size replica mannequin of Cupid, it's a life-size replica man of Cupid.

Who is fat, stinky, and looking at me as if he wants to eat me.

Shit.

"Hey, kid."  He's leering at me.  _Leering_ at me.

"Uh, KenKen," Omi says uncertainly, giving me a sharp tug on the sleeve.

_Save me_ I mouth to Omi, looking pointedly at the Cupid-man who was currently staring at me like a cat would at a canary.  Or in the way that most child molesters would at their victims.

Omi eeps and runs.

And they say friends are always there when you need them.  

"You look like a sweet little kid," Cupid says sweetly – or at least he thought sweetly.  I'm harshly reminded of my tenth grade history teacher.  "Would you like to come with me somewhere to get candy?"

What… the… hell?

That is seriously not funny.  Not only is this guy most likely twice my age, just called me a kid _and_ offered me candy while hiding within it the hidden innuendo of getting into my pants, and fat, but he's wearing a fucking diaper.

Please tell me I'm not the only one here thinking there's something _very_ wrong with that picture.

"Hey there, love."

Youji~!  I'm dealing with a crisis here, and you're running off to flirt with one of your _girlfriends_.

Wait.

Youji grins, sauntering over and draping his arms around my shoulders possessively.  "You miss me?"

I squeak.  What the hell is going on?

"And who might you be?" Youji asks in the perfect imitation of a possessive boyfriend.

Youji, I love you, really.  And though I really appreciate you coming to my rescue, will you please let me go?

'Cupid' blinks dumbly at Youji for a minute, his gaze darting between the two of us.  "You the kid's boyfriend?"

"Yes."

I choke.  

"Hey, what do you say to fifty bucks for the kid for one night?"

"No."

Really, it's not normal for a store mascot to ask a kid's boyfriend if he can take said kid's boyfriend out for a night.  Especially since both could kick his ass with no problem.

"You don't strike me as a serious relationship type of guy," 'Cupid' continues, the same sleazy tone in his voice.

Youji, I will kill you.  See, I told you there would be consequences from your shopping habits – this fucking asshole now thinks I'm a stupid hooker with some player from a bar.

The fact that Youji's dressed in _very_ questionable clothing doesn't exactly discourage that.

"I'm not," Youji says calmly, "But this kid's off-limits."

Youji's scary.  'Cupid's scary.

I think I'll run.

"OI!  KENKEN!"

Fuck them.  I mean, whoever the hell is controlling fate must hate me – just how often would a _normal_ person be hit on by a fat man in a diaper?  And then have to be rescued by his slut of a teammate – who, by the way, does not deny that allegation – who pretends to be said victim's boyfriend at the request of victim's other teammate who happens to have a crush on rescuer.

Confusing?  Oh yes.

"Ken-kun?"

Sorry, Omi, but you wouldn't mind being stuck with Youji for awhile, would you?  

There are footsteps behind me.  Three pairs.  Let's see, I believe that would be Omi, Youji… and… fuck.

"Why the hell are you guys following me?!" I scream, not caring what the patrons at the mall thought of me.  Hey, there's a bit of insanity inside us all.

I made a little kid cry.  He'll get a lollipop later.

"Ken-kun!" Omi yells after me.  

Okay, fine, Omi can follow me – sweet kid, that he is.  And Youji too, because as scary as he is, he at least had good intentions.  But I repeat, he scares me.

Not in the way Aya scares me though.

I screech to a stop.

Aya?  What the hell is _Aya_ doing at the mall?  

Well, this is great – I might not get dragged off to do unspeakable actions with a man in a diaper.  Omi and Youji are great and all… but they won't actually _kill_ the guy like Aya would.

Hey, I'm an assassin.  I can be a cold-hearted bastard if I want to.

"Aya~!" I yell, jolting forward and latching on to one very shocked Abyssinian.  Oh, he looks nice when he's shocked.  Or has any expression, if I think about it.

"What are you doing?" he asks flatly, pointedly prying me off of him.

"There's a crazy man in a diaper chasing after me," I say, my face perfectly serious, "I need you to kill him."

Silence.

Aya turns to walk away.

"I'm serious!" I grab him by the sleeve, tugging firmly.  Glancing backwards, I cringe as I see the triad sprinting towards me.  

Aya at least has it within his heart to look back and see if I'm even making all this shit up.  The look on his face is priceless.

"You are an idiot," he says tonelessly.

I really don't need him to tell me something I already know.

Aya grabs me by the collar and begins dragging me off.  Owie, that hurts!

"How do you get yourself into these messes?" he mutters, glancing furtively around.  You know, as freaked out as I am, even I have to admit that perhaps he's taking this a tad bit too seriously.

He looked like he was on a mission.  Wow, can I take this to mean that he actually cares for me?  
  


I'm happy.  You see, like any guy, I really don't want to be the helpless little maiden wanting for rescue.  But hey, this is _Aya _doing the rescuing… And he's, well, special.

Anyway, once 'Cupid''s hands are tied up good enough that he can't grope me, I'll be the one doing the ass-kicking, thank you very much. 

Aya finally pauses in front of a large custodial closet.

Oh no, he's not thinking about going in there is he?  A small dark enclosed space?  With just the two of us?

He opens the door.  "In."

"Uh, why don't you just run him through with your katana?" I whimper.

Aya gives me a piercing glare – one that meant 'you're more stupid than I thought – do you think I would carry a katana with me to the mall?.'

Oh.

Well, learned something new today: Aya is not obsessive enough to carry sharp objects everywhere he goes.

I find myself roughly shoved in.

The door slams behind Aya.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…  It is _not_ good for my sanity to be stuck inside an enclosed space with one very hot redhead.

"Aya," I say meekly, "Why are we in here?"

"Hiding."

"Oh."

Silence.  Very very tense silence.

A thump.

I glance quickly at Aya, before the two of us both turn to stare at the door.  Something just hit it.

"Well," a muffled voice says from outside, "Looks like our friend's knocked out."

"Ne, Youji-kun, should we really just leave him here like this?"

"No.  We're calling the cops to pick him up, and then charge him on the grounds of suspected child molesting."

"…Is Ken-kun even young enough to be called a child?"

"…Oh.  What do you say to killing him then?"

A pause.

"Youji-kun!"

"I was just joking, Chibi!  You know, cute little thing as you are, you're scary when you're mad."

"Even scarier than Aya?"

"No.  Aya's scarier than you, me, KenKen, _and_ diaper-boy here combined."

"Yeah, that's true."

I cringe, glancing out of the corner of my eye at Aya.  He's perfectly expressionless, although I swear I can see an eyebrow twitching.

Aya strides purposefully towards the door and moves to yank it open.

It doesn't.

And I proceed to laugh my ass off.

There's only one semi-logical explanation to why the door won't open.  First of all, Youji and Omi couldn't possibly know we're in here, so they couldn't have barred it shut – at least, not on purpose.  Getting my drift?  

In other words, my corpulent stalker must have weighed a hell of a lot.

"Hidaka," Aya says flatly, "What is going on?"

"…Diaper," I choke out.

He looks at me as if I had gone insane.  What else is new?

"Eh, Chibi, where'd KenKen go?"

"I don't know."

"That's strange; I swear he had gone in this direction."

"I know.  This is the only way there was."

I kick the door.  Hard.

"What was that?"

"The closet?"

"…Youji-kun, closets don't make noises."

"Aren't you supposed to be the genius?  I meant inside the closet."

"Damnit, Omi, open the fucking door!" I holler.

"…Ken-kun?"

"Wow, KenKen must've been terrified if he dove into the closet."

Terrified?  I was more than terrified.  

But now… Now I'm relieved, as I hear the sounds of a load of blubber being shoved to the side.  Shit, that guy must've weighed a ton, judging from the curses I'm hearing from _Omi's_ mouth.

The doorknob turns.

"Thank you!" I yell, jumping to dive out.

Of course, the door then promptly gets slammed in my face.

Ouchie.

I think my nose got squashed.

"What was that for?!" I scream, pounding roughly against the now not-budging door.

"CHIBI~!  Did you see?  Did you see?!"

"Yup yup!  Ken-kun was in there with _Aya-kun_!"

I begin to thump my head against the door.  I never knew the day would come when my very own teammates would start acting like raving fangirls.

"Open the door," Aya calls firmly.  He is clearly not amused.

"Oi, Chibi, don't we have to, uh, go do… something?"

"Huh?  Oh yeah!  We, um, shouldn't be late!"

Silence.

Silence except for the steady beat of my head against the wall.  

"Move, Hidaka."

I pause, blinking, before turning and throwing an inquisitive look at Aya.  And promptly haul ass from the door when see he has The Expression on his face.

The Expression he has when he exclaims "Schwartz!"

Scary.

I stare warily at Aya, wondering if he would do as I thought he would and barrel straight towards the door.  Of course, that would be completely un-Aya-ish…

So of course he doesn't.

"Hidaka, how hard is your head?"

I freeze.  Did Aya… Was he… Was he _joking_?!

So I proceed to collapse laughing at the sheer strangeness of it all.  Aya, ice-cold stone-rigid Aya, was cracking a _joke_, a _joke_ to ease the tension.

And then I suddenly stop laughing when I look up to see his face.

Aya… Aya's smiling.  Or at least almost smiling.

For Aya though, just that slight tug of his lips was enough for me to stare shamelessly.  It's just…  No, I won't become one of his fangirls.  I won't scream and jump around while squealing in mad happiness.

But I do have the decidedly suicidal urge to jump him right then and there.

Not a good thing.  Well, good except for the fact that he'll stab a very sharp pointy thing through me.

Wait.

He doesn't have his katana with him, does he…?

No no no no no…  Aya will kill me anyway.  Painfully.

So he's standing there with what I _think_ is an amused expression on his face, and I'm staring dumbly at him.  It's… an interesting situation.

Actually, it would be very entertaining if not for the fact that I was one of the participants in the strange staring contest – and the one battling quite a few hormonal urges.

I give up; we're getting out of here even if I have to crash through what I believe to be a very thick door to do so.  If we stay here for more than another minute, I swear I'll jump Aya before my rational mind can say no.

And damnit, I have a better chance with the door than with Aya.

I hit the door with a crash.  Damn, my head hurts.  If I think about it now, that probably really wasn't a smart thing to do.  Not only does it make Aya think I'm a masochistic freak, but it wouldn't work anyway – after all, I like to think of myself as a not-so-chubby guy and thus would have no chance of barreling a door down. 

And it hurts~~!  

Sure, I'm an assassin and all, so I don't _really_ go berserk at pain like most people… but it's a hell of a lot different to have the adrenaline rush in battle.  To know that you might've gotten a concussion due to your own stupidity certainly adds a lot to the pain.

…Maybe Aya will magically make another icepack appear out of thin air…?  With another kind-of-kiss?

Shut up; I can dream if I want to.

"Hidaka, you are an idiot."

I whimper pathetically.  I think all he's been doing recently is call me an idiot – but at least he's actually _talking_ to me now.  

Wow.

"Aya," I mutter, "Please refrain from any comments about my intelligence as my brain is hurting far too much to come up with a suitable comment that would do something other than degrade my intelligence even further."

Go me; I'm the king of long incoherent sentences.

And yes, I can be a snarky bastard even to Aya.

"So?" I smile - falsely -cheerfully at him.  "Any suggestions."

"No."

I twitch.

And no, I will not jump Aya.  No matter how good he looks leaning against the wall… two feet away from me… in the odd orange sweater… 

And as ugly as that thing is, it looks very snuggable right now. 

Damnit, Hidaka, get a hold of yourself.  That fuzzy fluffy soft orange sweater does not look snuggable.

…

Okay, fine, the sweater is snuggable.  But the guy underneath – no not thinking what you think I'm thinking – is not.

Aya.  Is.  Not.  Snuggable.

Really.

~*~

_::grins::  Cliffhanger~!  Yes, cut off right there, as it's been forever since I last updated, and this chapter was getting long anyway. ^^;;  _


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